Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

This weekend we took the kids for a walk with some friends from Maroubra to Lurline Bay.

It is a nice little pleasant walk that is easy for the kids.




They loved jumping between the boulders.




...and exploring the small rock pools.







Because of the recent storms the beach was full of Blue bottles, so no playing in the sand this time around.





They are nasty little creatures that will sting you badly if you touch them.




This surfer was being very careful in his bare feet.

Earlier this month it was Lucas birthday.

We didn't have a kids party for him, but we did celebrate with the family.







We gave him a new bike for his birthday...he was stunned and didn't know what to think of it, but he loves riding it now.

Last weekend there was a Lego exhibition in the city.

We caught the train in to St James station and walked from there.





It was a fairly small exhibition with my favourite being the pirate ship with all the details of the lower decks.












There was also some Ninjago and Star wars.










And a lot of other pieces.

Rather than keeping all the kids artwork I instead take photos of it.

Here is some of the latest additions.

Christmas is now approaching and to keep up traditions I have created some family photos as well as some photos of Aiden.

Recently Dao's husband moved to Australia to join her. One of the visa requirements are that they must enter a legally binding marriage (The marriage from Vietnam is not recognised here) for him to stay here, so today we went to the registry office to have them married.

On the weekend we went with the family to Darling Harbour where they have a big water playground.

This gave Aiden a chance to play in the water...which he loves.







I also took a couple of photos of Aiden with grandad and auntie.

Every year we are allowed to spend a certain number of working days on charity events. Last year I did some with a group from work, but this year I was offered to join Cisco on their charity for "Cure our Kids".

This is an even that mainly focuses on providing a support framework for parents whose kids have Cancer with the thinking that if there is a good support for the parents then they will be able to support their children better.



The work we did consisted of going through pallets of boxes with parent folders and then from these remove unwanted items and inserting new leaflets. A team was also going through other boxes to sort through what could be used for xmas and what needed to be ebay'ed off.

This weekend Kim and I met met up with the mothers group for a christmas meet.

Because the weather was nice we decided to meet at the local playground and at the same time I could take some photos of the kids.

The playground has a plastic boat which makes it nice and easy to keep them contained in one area.

They have now set up the christmas tree in East Gardens. I was trying to find a goot spot to take a photo from without use of a tripod and without being chased away by security.



This was the best I could come up with.

On the weekend we went for a walk in Centennial Park. We stopped at this old stone bridge to take a couple of photos, but Aiden was more interested in taking mum for a walk and a swim.

On the weekend I was cutting down some of the bushes in our garden. Very quickly Aiden discovered that it was fun to play in the pile of leaves that I'd left behind.

The other day we were at Eastgardens shopping centre.

Lego had an area set aside where the kids could play with Lego (obviously to get the parents to buy them Lego for Christmas).


Obviously Aiden (and Dad) had to play for a while.







And Aiden also did some drawing (or at least he was playing with the colour pens)

Last weekend we went with Lachlan and Na to Darling Harbour for dinner.

This also happened to be the night of the Christmas parade in Darling Harbour.



So there was a lot of entertainment such as the Three Wise Men.





And lots of people dressed as Santa.



And Elves.

Kim and I went to see the Swan Lake with the Australian Ballet at the Capitol Theatre this season.

Neither of us had ever seen the swan lake and really wanted to see it. My dad was here at the same time but he was happy to babysit the kids while we we were going.



It was a beautiful performance and without a doubt the best ballet I have seen.

Since the kids were babtised last year Kim though it would make sense that she would be babtised too.

So, early January it was her turn with just the immediate family around.

It was a privilege to live in Kenya during the 80's. Much of the the country had seen very few (if any) white people.

So, everywhere that we went we seemed to be the main attraction (especially me and my brother with our blonde hair).

To be honest I can't identify all the tribes anymore, but I know that a lot of them are from Samburu, Turkana and the northern part of Kenya.

I suspect that if you went to those areas today then they would all be wearing T-Shirts.

Needless to say that I saw a lot of animals while in Kenya.

I don't know how it is today, but back then they were everywhere in the national parks.

Here is some of the Rhinos we saw.












Elephants were plentiful.




Lots of cheetahs.










And lots of lions.



























Their kittens.










Lots of Hippos (Lots of these in Lake victoria) and they would be grazing on the golf course across the street.



Hyenas




The vultures eating the remains of the kills.




And of cause loads of zebras and various gazelles.

My time in Kenya was every kids dream.

I got see and do things that few other kids had a chance of doing and it definitely had a big impact on my adult life.



Living at Lake Victoria gave me the chance of catching the biggest fish I have ever caught (A 56pound/25kg Nile Perch).



I also caught the smallest fish I have ever caught in that same lake.




We didn't need fancy fishing gear, just a stick with a piece of line on it.



Life, going to school and emerged in a different culture was a different kind of life (This is our house maid, my brother and my grandmother in front of our house).





This is Filistus another of our house maids. She was working for us most of our time there (we found out the she died from a bad case of malaria years after we left).





Here we are riding a 100 year old turtle.



Life with my brother was also very different. He discovered his talent for Tennis in Kenya and could whoop most of the adults arse when he was 12yo.






No hair dressers around so we also had the worst hair cuts.







There wasn't a lot of Europeans around so we'd know most with a 100km radius.



Family life was simple (not TV) but good.










Our dog was part of the family and made quite a few trips to Kenya.





Every afternoon was spent at the Nyanza Country club where Claus played Tennis and we went swimming.

I taught myself to swim and owe these days to how solid a swimmer I am today...I got really upset that I couldn't swim and my stubborness kicked in and I became determined to learn...fast.



Some of the less memorable moments were the school plays where I was dressed up as a big bird.



Here is one of Claus singing in the choir.

I have started going through some of the old photos on my computer and will start post some of them on my blog.

The first one I stumbled upon one of my class photos from Kenya from 1981/82 when I went to Kisumu Primary School.

I was the only white person in my class (we were 5-6 europeans in the whole school)

One evening while staying at the farm we went to the Hunter Valley gardens to check out the light show and the mega bugs.





There were lots of really creepy insects around the garden and they were all moving and making sounds.






The light show was also really good and there were a couple of new things compared to last year.



And we also spend a bit more time in the story garden.







And the story about girls and boys is 'different'...






...but maybe true for these little monkeys.

At the end of the summer holidays we made a trip up north to Broke (Hunter Valley) with the kids and some friends to stay at an Alpaca farm.




It didn't take long for Aiden to get comfortable with feeding the Alpacas but Lucas was a bit more hesitant and was happy to just observe or throw the food at them.










The Alpacas also provided them with a biology lesson teaching them about the bees and the flowers.




We also did a bit of wine tasting while we were in that part of the hunter.









But the kids were more interested in playing outside and chasing the cat.

My New Years resolution for this year is to get healthy.

By this I don't mean that I will try and become super fit and start running marathons. No, I just mean that I want to get to a stage where I feel healthy, do a bit of exercise, have a healthy mental state and generally eat healthy.

I started really well on this last year, but about half way through I started getting sick all the time (like every 2-3 weeks).

 


This time around I want to have 2 months without getting sick and then I will start some easy to moderate exercise again.

I want to see if I can get back to running again.

Here is a fun little street sign. This is a place I wanna live...