Every year we are allowed to spend a certain number of working days on charity events. Last year I did some with a group from work, but this year I was offered to join Cisco on their charity for "Cure our Kids".

This is an even that mainly focuses on providing a support framework for parents whose kids have Cancer with the thinking that if there is a good support for the parents then they will be able to support their children better.



The work we did consisted of going through pallets of boxes with parent folders and then from these remove unwanted items and inserting new leaflets. A team was also going through other boxes to sort through what could be used for xmas and what needed to be ebay'ed off.

This weekend Kim and I met met up with the mothers group for a christmas meet.

Because the weather was nice we decided to meet at the local playground and at the same time I could take some photos of the kids.

The playground has a plastic boat which makes it nice and easy to keep them contained in one area.

On the weekend I was cutting down some of the bushes in our garden. Very quickly Aiden discovered that it was fun to play in the pile of leaves that I'd left behind.

On the weekend we went for a walk in Centennial Park. We stopped at this old stone bridge to take a couple of photos, but Aiden was more interested in taking mum for a walk and a swim.

They have now set up the christmas tree in East Gardens. I was trying to find a goot spot to take a photo from without use of a tripod and without being chased away by security.



This was the best I could come up with.

The other day we were at Eastgardens shopping centre.

Lego had an area set aside where the kids could play with Lego (obviously to get the parents to buy them Lego for Christmas).


Obviously Aiden (and Dad) had to play for a while.







And Aiden also did some drawing (or at least he was playing with the colour pens)

Last weekend we went with Lachlan and Na to Darling Harbour for dinner.

This also happened to be the night of the Christmas parade in Darling Harbour.



So there was a lot of entertainment such as the Three Wise Men.





And lots of people dressed as Santa.



And Elves.

On the weekend we went tot he beach. Initially Aiden was a bit scared of the waves (although he loves the sand and the water)...but after a while he didn't mind the waves splashing around his little legs (I found the water cold but he didn't mind).




As usual he threw a tandrum when we pulled him out of the water.



Afterwards we spend some time in the sand and I was teaching him how to build really cool sand castles and he was teaching me how to demolish them.

The other weekend we took Aiden to the swimming pool.

He is really happy with water now and loves splashing around. He is no longer afraid of it and doesn't mind getting his head under water.



Only problem now is that he throws a tandrum every time we have to leave the pool.

This year I didn't get a chance to go to Sculpture by the sea during the daytime, but I did have some time to go there one evening after we had put Aiden to bed.

I had seen some daylight photos from the exhibition from Tamarama beach where they had these 'Easter Island' type statues. I thought I could do some really cool night time Off-Camera-Flash photos using just ordinary flashes.

When I got there it was almost pitch black darkness...perfect.

I got my gear set up and managed to take the following shot which was exactly what I envisioned in my head.



While there I had a look at a couple of the other sculptures in the area...I did shoot the following photo of this 2 meter tall red chinaman sculpture.

Between Christmas and New year we went to the Hunter Valley with Sasha and his family.

We stayed overnight in a cabin in Lovedale.




During the day we tasted wines at the various wineries (found some good ones).






















The kids also loved playing at the cabin in the evenings.

This year we decided not to celebrate on the eve of the 24 and just stick with the 25th at KC's place (too much cooking otherwise). I was responsible for the Christmas ham (with limited success).

It was a relaxing day and the kids were very exited about their presents.

Sometimes when I am setting up for a photo especially Aiden likes to jump in a get silly.

It is a good way to test the lighting and sometimes I managed to get a 'keeper' such as this one from a few weeks back.

It is almost Christmas and I've just completed our annual family Christmas photo and this is the final version.



It was an interesting process getting to this photo this year. Last year we did a photo in the kitchen of us baking a cake, but this years photo has so many more elements to it.

The idea came from a combination of Kim and my ideas. Kim wanted to do a photo of the boys through a crystal ball. I actually bought the crystal ball right after Christmas last year with this year in mind.

We did a test in front of the tree in early December which was reasonably okay, but Kim didn't like the feel to it. She wanted more snow (pretty ambitious on a summers day here in Sydney Australia).



My idea for our family photo was based on me wanting to do a story of us as a family out in a snow storm 'Looking for Santa'. I had purchased a bag of artificial snow and a Christmas cape a few months back and we had some lanterns downstairs so I pretty much had all the components in place for the shoot.

I knew I had to do it as a composite with the boys as there was no way that I would be able to get the photo with all four of us at once. We did the photo over a couple of days, on the first evening (after the kids had gone to bed) I took the one of Kim and myself holding the lantern. Once I had this photo I could show it to Aiden and Lucas so that they knew what we needed them to do (Lucas just had to copy Aiden).



I had Gaffa taped markers on the floor so everyone would know where they were supposed to stand. Inside the lantern I had hidden a speedlight gelled with CTO to make it look light the lantern was lit. We are actually lit by a large Einstein strobe also with CTO, grid and barn doors to control the spill of the light.
At the back left and right were another two speedlights providing a bit of rim light to emulate moon light.

Because of the first 'failed' attempt of the crystal ball I got the idea to extend my 'Looking for Santa' photo into Santa's shed where he would have a crystal ball where he could look at us looking for him.
This would require three components - The crystal ball, the lights from the Christmas tree to create atmosphere and then Santa himself. I created Santa by hanging a hat on a chair which was easy to light and then I had another light which I used to balance the ambient with the lights from the tree.

The final photo all combined looks like the following, but in the end we decided to just use the tighter crop in the first and final photo.

It was time again for the annual Christmas concert with Aiden and Lucas' daycare.

Aiden is starting 'big' school after Christmas, so this was also his graduation.



Kim and Aiden had both practiced some dancing and songs for the concert and were both dressed up, Aiden as a doctor and Lucas as a pumpkin.





Although Aiden was very excited leading up to the concert and was telling everyone how he was going to sing and dance, he absolutely broke down once we got there overwhelmed by all the people and the noise.

It was heartbreaking to see him like that on an evening where he should be enjoying himself. He was crying and didn't want to get on the stage. Eventually we managed to get him up and he did try and participate.





Lucas on the other hand had a great time, unfortunately I didn't get a lot of photos of that because I had to try and comfort Aiden.





After the show Santa turned up wit presents for the kids and he was a lot happier again.







After that the graduates had their photos taken and had cake.

This month Kim and I had our anniversary.

I cant believe we have been married for 7 years...still love her to bits.

Saturday Kim and I went to the Sydney Opera house to watch the Sleeping Beauty performed by the Australian Ballet.



It was one of the better ballets we have seen. The story was great and the dancing (lots of it) was of a really high quality.

The even managed to weave in some of the Red riding hood story, Puss in boots, Cinderella and other stories.

It was beautiful to watch.

Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer