This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

This weekend we took the kids for a walk with some friends from Maroubra to Lurline Bay.

It is a nice little pleasant walk that is easy for the kids.




They loved jumping between the boulders.




...and exploring the small rock pools.







Because of the recent storms the beach was full of Blue bottles, so no playing in the sand this time around.





They are nasty little creatures that will sting you badly if you touch them.




This surfer was being very careful in his bare feet.

Earlier this month it was Lucas birthday.

We didn't have a kids party for him, but we did celebrate with the family.







We gave him a new bike for his birthday...he was stunned and didn't know what to think of it, but he loves riding it now.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

Last weekend there was a Lego exhibition in the city.

We caught the train in to St James station and walked from there.





It was a fairly small exhibition with my favourite being the pirate ship with all the details of the lower decks.












There was also some Ninjago and Star wars.










And a lot of other pieces.

This Sunday it was fathers day.

It was celebrated with a game of Bowling with the kids in the morning and then family dinner in the evening (with yummi chocolate cake).







This photo is the only family photo I have with the entire Kims family (including little Mia).

Rather than keeping all the kids artwork I instead take photos of it.

Here is some of the latest additions.

This weekend Kim and I joined a couple of friends at the opera house to see the show Anything Goes.

This is a great musical which I believe is based on a book and it was first shown on Broadway all the way back in 1934.

I love the old costumes from back...

The other day I went for a walk in Centenial Park. For the first time I ventured into the memorial (normally there are lots of dogs and poo in this area so I generally avoid it).

The ceiling of the memorial is quite pretty and I can see myself coming back to do some more photos at some stage.

Last weekend I went for a walk along the harbour with a couple of friends and Aiden (in my backpack).

It was a beautiful winters day being sunny and 25 degrees.

We started out at Waverton and walked almost across to Greenwich. It wasn't a long walk but very pleasant (especially since I also had Aiden to carry).

The other day we went to Maroubra beach to let the boys play in the sand and also to try and get some photos of them together.


It is currently winter here in Sydney which sometimes provides this beautiful cool light.





Lucas and Aiden are now really good at playing together...Lucas is doing his best to copy everything that Aiden does and at the same time tried to keep up, whic is difficult when you cant walk yet.

...And Aiden is good at sharing his toys and make sure that Lucas has something to play with.

The other day I did a couple of test portrait shots...I wanted a portrait that was a bit more moody than usual.

It is not easy getting the low key lighting right...much easier to do high key where you can pretty much blast the subject with light.

I haven't had the time to experiment further to accomplish what I wanted...but here is what I did get after 10-15 minutes experimenting.

Yesterday Kim caught Lucas grabbing her car keys and the trying to use the keys to unlock the front door...with a bit of practice and some extra height me might succeed one day.

I think he just wanted to take the big red car outside for a spin...

On the weekend we went to the beach for a little family picnic...ham and cheese sandwiches.

we also wanted to get some photos of Lucas and Aiden playing together in the sand.

We especially wanted to get one of them sitting together look at the waves. Normally Aiden is terrified of the waves, but because Lucas was there we were able to get him to sit still.

It wasn't the best light in the middle of a sunny day but I love the cool winter light this time of the year. It is hard to describe...but the light has a less warm feel the during the summertime.

Aiden and Lucas are now best of mates and having a lot of fun. Once Lucas learns to walk they will be big trouble and we will constantly have to chase after them. Aiden can sometimes get a bit rough, but Lucas is a tough little bundle of muscles and loves copying him.

On my birthday this year I went climbing at Barrenjoey with some friends. It was the first time for over a year that I have done any climbing...let alone outdoors, but fortunately it was all top ropes.

Barrenjoey is one of the most beautiful spots in Sydney.



I am totally out of shape but still managed to get through the climbs we set up.

We were supposed to have had a dinner the night before but most people were busy so we decided to cancel the dinner and the let me go climbing instead. I was supposed to have been taking Aiden with me (Barrenjoey is relatively safe for kids), but he was still a bit unwell from his hospital visit. I think I will start looking for a good climbing helmet for him so that we have it for next time.




I had a great day out with friends and it was great to get back on the rock.

Last night we had a bit of a scare when we suddenly had to rush Aiden to the hospital in an ambulance...

He was over at grandads place most of the day playing and when he came back we noticed that he had a bit of a temperature and didn't want to eat, but otherwise ok and playful. We decided to give him a quick shower before giving him some panadol and then bedtime.

In the shower he was playing as usual with water and his plastic cups when I left him to get dressed. When I came back a few minutes later to turn off the water and get him dressed I could tell that he was not his normal self and was shaking a bit. Thinking that he was cold I quickly took him out to get him dressed but could then tell that he was pretty bad...I couldn't get in contact with him and his breathing was irregular and shallow.



I quickly called Kim and had her call an ambulance. While we were waiting he started having some muscle spasms and started throwing up. Fortunately we are close to the ambulance station so they arrived pretty quickly and took myself and Aiden to the children's hospital which is also close by.

At the hospital he started responding again and the doctors there think that a spike in his fever caused it. They kept him there for most of the evening until his temperature had dropped and they were sure he was well hydrated which was around midnight.

Good that all turned out ok...Aiden has been pretty happy today even though he hasn't eaten much and slept much of the day.

This weekend we went to the local park to get a photo of Lucas for his 'First Year' album.

We wanted to get some photos of him on the swing.



But we also managed to snap a couple with Aiden...

Aiden has started playing soccer (not real soccer, but they do get to kick a ball).

He is very proud that he has real soccer shirts and shorts.



We started taking him to assist him with his development. We are starting to see some progress but he is still a bit behind his age group.