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3. October 2014 08:10
by Rene Pallesen
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Open day - Melanie

3. October 2014 08:10 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Melanie was back for this shoot and in high demand with lots of photographers wanting to photograph
Melanie was back for this shoot and in high demand with lots of photographers wanting to photograph her.

I only had the chance when she was with Sophia at the goods elevator as I didn't want to waste a lot of time at some of the other sets standing in line waiting.



Here is one of her and Sophia Angeleena.



And here is a photo someone took of me in action.



Set: Studio 1A Sydney
Model: Melanie Bowers (and Sophia Angelena)
HMUA:
Photo: Rene Pallesen

30. September 2014 07:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open day - Jayden

30. September 2014 07:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Photo: Rene PallesenModel: Jayden S - Ikon model HMUA: Rachael BastiaansenSets: Studio 1A Sydney
...and here is Jayden.

This was taken using a large octabox to the right of the camera.

A lot of work had to go into the post production of this photo. The background had a lot of creases that had to be evened out and it was a fairly tight image because the background was really narrow. I wanted something a little wider so had to expand the background while retaining all the natural shadows. The shadows that are remaining are all natural and I was so-so as to whether they should be worked on some more but in the end I've decided to leave them as they are.




Photo: Rene Pallesen
Model: Jayden S - Ikon model
HMUA: Rachael Bastiaansen
Sets: Studio 1A Sydney



28. September 2014 06:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open day - Sophia Angeleena

28. September 2014 06:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Another model at the photo day was Sophia. She is an experienced model and I have seen some of her o
Another model at the photo day was Sophia. She is an experienced model and I have seen some of her other work and it is very nice (https://www.facebook.com/sophia.angeleena.1).

This photo was taken in a goods elevator full of smoke from a smoke machine and then backlit with a bare bulb strobe. The front was lit using a small beauty dish with a sock on it.



Set: Studio 1A Sydney
Model: Sophia Angeleena
Hair: Roxanne Cahill
Makeup: Syham Elomar
Photo/Retouching: Rene Pallesen


26. September 2014 09:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Movement with stroboscopic flash and bodypaint

26. September 2014 09:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

One of the sets there was set up with a stroboscopic flash in an octabox to allow capturing movement
One of the sets at the Open day photoshoot was setup with a stroboscopic flash in an octabox to allow capturing movements. The model Bree was covered in a full body silver body paint which looked fantastic.



We would be 5-6 photographers on the set, but only one person would be in control of the trigger and this person also had control of providing instructions to the model. Sometimes the person would give you a countdown, but more often than not they would just say go and then you would pull the trigger and hope that you captured the 2-3 second sequence of flashes.

This was especially difficult because it was all about timing, coordinating the movements and then holding the camera really still (A monopod or tripod would have been great).

What made it especially hard was that the first flash was the strongest followed by a sequence of less powerful flashes. This meant that for some movements you would have to do things in reverse and have the model walk backwards to get what you were after (really hard to look natural). At the same time you would also have to consider the direction of light to make sure that the movements were properly lit.



I had very few usable photos from this session even though I spent a fair bit of time trying to get it right. These are some of the ones I did get.

Set: Studio 1A Sydney
Lighting: Stroboscopic Lighting provided by; http://www.kayellaustralia.com.au/
Model: Bree Williams - www.facebook.com/BriannaWilliamsArtist
HMUA: Jade Little - http://www.alittlemakeupstudio.com/
Photo: Rene Pallesen

15. September 2014 16:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open Studio day - Urban

15. September 2014 16:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Another urban style shoot I did was with a girl named Christina. Model: Christi
Another urban style shoot I did was with this girl.

These were all shot outside using natural light.

Model:
HMUA: -
Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney
Photo: Rene Pallesen





15. September 2014 09:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open day photoshoot - Jamie

15. September 2014 09:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

For the first time ever did I try some urban style photos with a model named Jamie.I both did some s
For the first time ever did I try some urban style photos with a model named Jamie.

I both did some studio lit shots but also some natural light shots...all good fun.

She is of a Filipino and Spanish background and am represented by IKON Model.

Model:
Jamie A - IKON Model, Jamie Aspillaga
HMUA: Syham Elomar 'Doll Face'
Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney
Photo: Rene Pallesen

The studio lit shots were taken in a lift with a smoke machine and a bale bulb strobe inside the lift. The front is lit by a 15" beauty dish with a sock. f5.6 @ ISO 100.













14. September 2014 13:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open Studio - Pia Priestley

14. September 2014 13:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

I had the pleasure of photographing Pia again during this shoot. Initially I didn't recognise her be
I had the pleasure of photographing Pia again during this shoot. Initially I didn't recognise her because she wasn't wearing the same amount of makeup and she said that she didn't participate in the last shoot.

Once I showed her the photo I took last time of her she said 'Wow, was it you who took that. It is in my portfolio!'...love it when people love my work and it is actually being used.

Model: Pia Priestley
HMUA: Carla Vallelonga
Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney
Photo: Rene Pallesen
— at Studio 1A Sydney





13. September 2014 17:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open Studio Day - Taylia Lopez

13. September 2014 17:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Model: Taylia Jordan HMUA: Donna Kalasho Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney Photo: Rene PallesenHar
Model: Taylia Jordan
HMUA: Donna Kalasho
Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney
Photo: Rene Pallesen




Hard to believe that this is the same girl/model who during the last shoot was in this extravagant hair and makeup. I almost didn't recognise her.

13. September 2014 14:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Open day photo shoot - Michaela

13. September 2014 14:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

First of many from the photoshoot I did two weeks ago. Model: Michaela Baranov HMUA: Roxanne Cahill
First of many from the photoshoot I did two weeks ago.

Model: Michaela Baranov
HMUA: Roxanne Cahill
Lighting and Sets: Studio 1A Sydney
Photo: Rene Pallesen




21. July 2014 14:07
by Rene Pallesen
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Golf after 5 years

21. July 2014 14:07 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Kim and I found a couple of hours to play 9 holes of golf on a short (mostly) par 3 course.It was ni
Kim and I found a couple of hours to play 9 holes of golf on a short (mostly) par 3 course after not playing for 5 years.

It was nice getting out again after that long time even though it was very windy and freezing.

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20. October 2012 11:21
by Rene Pallesen
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Setup Shot - Funny face

20. October 2012 11:21 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

setup shot funny face


When I setup for my photos I normally have to take a range of setup shots to check if the light is the way that I want it. Sometime I managed to volunteer Kim to help me set up and on the rate occasion she pulls a funny face.


13. October 2012 12:50
by Rene Pallesen
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Lucas 1 Month Photos

13. October 2012 12:50 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

lucas 1 month photos


This is a series of photos I've taken of Lucas being 1 month old.





It is a lot harder taking baby photos this time around for a number of reasons such as it being harder to find the time with both Lucas and the newborn around as well as Lucas not being a very good sleeper. This means that whenever he does sleep it is time for especially mummy to have a rest rather than run around taking photos.

Aiden is extremely fond of his little baby brother and every morning he wants to see the baby and give him a little kiss.



Whenever Lucas cries, Aiden will say 'Dont cry Lucas'.


I am sure that as he grows older they will be best mates.



Hopefully as he grows older Lucas will be a bit easier we will be able to take more photos than we have been.

13. October 2012 08:24
by Rene Pallesen
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Lucas 1 Month celebration

13. October 2012 08:24 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

lucas 1 month celebration


Lucas is now one month old and we had a little celebration for family and friends with bbq, food and cake.

It was a fine day with lots of kids around (so AIden was busy playing all day).




11. October 2012 04:37
by Rene Pallesen
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Work Photo Competition

11. October 2012 04:37 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

work photo competition


Some weeks ago there was a work photo competition where the theme was 'World Connected'. I didn't have much time due to the kids, but I did manage to put together this photo below for the competition with the title 'bringing closer those who matter!'.




It wasn't picked as a finalist, but still fun nevertheless.

8. October 2012 07:20
by Rene Pallesen
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Baby name - Lucas

8. October 2012 07:20 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

baby name lucas


Ok, Kim has finally decided on a name for the newborn out of the 2-3 names left on the shortlist.

It is:

'Lucas Lee Pallesen'



8. October 2012 01:41
by Rene Pallesen
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Samanthas B'day and Thomas Train Day

8. October 2012 01:41 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

samanthas b day and thomas train day


This weekend it was Samantha's (Sacha and Mavis' daughter) birthday and to celebrate we did another day with the Thomas Trains.





The kids love the trains and it is really good value for an afternoon out.



Even Kim had a few rides on the trains as she wasn't able to ride last time because she was pregnant.





It was a cool and drizly day...hence the warm clothes.

On one of the last rides Thomas de-railed so it took the staff a fair while to get him back on the track (the engines are pretty heavy).







2. October 2012 07:37
by Rene Pallesen
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Baby's hand

2. October 2012 07:37 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

baby s hand


The other night I took this photo of the baby's hand grabbing my finger.

We are now approaching week 3...still no closer to having a name for him.

2. October 2012 07:19
by Rene Pallesen
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Auburn Botanical Gardens Picnic

2. October 2012 07:19 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

auburn botanical gardens picnic


After our escursion to the park last week the family decided to go there for a picnic on this Labour Day (public holiday).

I was soooo tired after having food poisoning the night before...and wasn't able to eat anything...but the others were having fun.




Here is Kims dad with the four daughters.



What I didn't realise was that this was the park that KC and Chong got married in. The ceremony was in this spot where I took this photo of Kims dad with most of his grand children (the two youngest missing).





I also did some more peacock photos while we were there.



Afterwards there was cake and KC and Chongs place (it was his b'day a couple of days earlier)...but we were too tired to join them.

29. September 2012 05:57
by Rene Pallesen
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Photo Competition

29. September 2012 05:57 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

photo competition


For the last couple of years work has has an annual photo competition. This year the theme was 'connected world' and I decided to participate.

Not an easy task coming up with an idea and doing a project like this with a new kid. With bit of brainstorming I came up with a couple of ideas and with Kims permission to doing a night shoot in the city I decided to put one of the ideas to life.



I am not sure if it is a strong enough photo to be a real contender, but it was fun trying to put it together. The photo was taking at the Domain in Sydney with the highrises in the background.

28. September 2012 08:39
by Rene Pallesen
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Auburn Botanical Gardens

28. September 2012 08:39 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

auburn botanical gardens


Yesterday we made the trip to Auburn Botanical gardens which is located about 25km from where we live.


I am paternity leave at the moment at this was a nice opportunity to get out of the house with Aiden and the newborn and also take some photos.



The garden contains a Japanese section full of Cherry blossoms in spring...unfortunately it is no longer cherry blossom season, but I did find some apple trees with flowers on them as well as other flowers.





There was also a bunch of peacocks around the place...one of them kind enough to show us its pride.





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29. January 2012 07:38
by Rene Pallesen
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Ronan Keating Concert

29. January 2012 07:38 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

ronan keating concert


Last night Kim and I went to the Ronan Keating concert in State Theatre in Sydney.



Kim is a long time fan of Ronan and really wanted to see him live. I am to be honest not really familiar with his music but had a good evening nonetheless.

The warming up band was Sharon Corr (from The Corrs) and I really enjoyed her both playing and singing...she is pretty talented on the violin.



29. December 2011 10:24
by Rene Pallesen
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Tomakin 2011 - Fishing

29. December 2011 10:24 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

tomakin 2011 fishing


Chong brought his Tinny (Australian slang for boat) to Tomakin and every morning the guys went out fishing for a few hours (I only went out one morning because 1. I had to look after Aiden and 2. I am not a morning person).





We caught lots of fish, but none of them were worth keeping as they were too small.



Just as well we didn't keep any, because on one of the days the fishing inspection gave us a visit.




In fact the only thing we caught that was above the size limit was this blue swimmer crab (and he was allowed to live another day).




We also had a visit from two massive sting rays (about 1 meter in diameter).

28. December 2011 10:23
by Rene Pallesen
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Tomakin 2011 - Table Tennis

28. December 2011 10:23 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

tomakin 2011 table tennis


The house we stayed at had a table tennis table in the garage. We had enough people to form three double teams and we spent quite a few hours playing each other.





Kims dad is 78 years old and is still going strong...he loves playing games.



27. December 2011 10:12
by Rene Pallesen
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Tomakin 2011 - Evening Photos

27. December 2011 10:12 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

tomakin 2011 evening photos


On the last couple of evenings we went to the beach to do some nice sunset photos. Tomaking is very onique in that it has some beaches that are facing west so you can use the nice light in the evening.

We did some family photos (some of which are on the previous blog post) as well as some of just Kim, Aiden and I. Kim still looks as beautiful as the day I met her.











I also did a rush job taking some long exposure shots of the ocean and the cliffs (not sure if I like the post processing...may have to come back to it some other day).

26. December 2011 09:59
by Rene Pallesen
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Tomakin 2011

26. December 2011 09:59 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

tomakin 2011


This years christmas family trip went to Tomakin on the NSW south coast (about 5 hours drive south of Sydney).



We rented a house with four bedrooms (for 9 adults and 5 kids) very close to the beach and fishing in the river. Fun with this large a group of people.





As usual we spent some time at the beach and I was showing Aiden how to build sand castles again.



He is still not walking so we had to hold his hands walking on the beach and in the water.





Right next to the house there was a nice litte organic coffee shop serving really good coffee and scones.



One morning we went to Mogo to have a look at the shops. There was a lot of art and crafts shop that Kim was interested in. The town had very conveniently created facilities for husbands as well.

25. December 2011 09:46
by Rene Pallesen
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Christmas Day 2011 - Bondi

25. December 2011 09:46 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

christmas day 2011 bondi


Christmas day we spent at Bondi Beach with Sacha and Mavis and their daughter. We met up at the kids pool at the end of the beach to let our kids have a splash in the water.



Aiden couldn't get enough of walking around in the water with myself and Kim holding his hands (he still can't walk by himself), he is very fond of water.



Sammi, Sacha and Mavis' daughter was wearing a flotation suit which was causing her a few problems as this photo series testifies.



24. December 2011 09:35
by Rene Pallesen
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Christmas Eve 2011

24. December 2011 09:35 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

christmas eve 2011


Christmas Eve this year was celebrated with Kims family. Normally we do this on the 25th like all other Australians, but this year we decided to do it the day before like in Denmark to avoid a lot of leftover food before going down south on out family trip to Tomakin.



Later in the day Santa Claus arrived to hand out presents for the kids.



For the lunch I roasted two ducks and Kim baked a chocolate ganache and made a salad.





Aiden was very excited and played with all Ethand and Kaylas toys.





19. December 2011 11:22
by Rene Pallesen
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Christmas Family Photos 2011

19. December 2011 11:22 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

christmas photos 2011


Christmas is now approaching and to keep up traditions I have created some family photos as well as some photos of Aiden.

Click here for more photos

Click here for more photos

Click here for more photos


19. December 2011 01:21
by Rene Pallesen
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Daos Wedding

19. December 2011 01:21 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

daos wedding


Recently Dao's husband moved to Australia to join her. One of the visa requirements are that they must enter a legally binding marriage (The marriage from Vietnam is not recognised here) for him to stay here, so today we went to the registry office to have them married.







19. December 2011 01:19
by Rene Pallesen
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Water Playground in Darling Harbour

19. December 2011 01:19 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

water playground


On the weekend we went with the family to Darling Harbour where they have a big water playground.

This gave Aiden a chance to play in the water...which he loves.







I also took a couple of photos of Aiden with grandad and auntie.







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7. January 2016 18:01
by Rene Pallesen
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Hunter Valley Christmas 2015

7. January 2016 18:01 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Between Christmas and New year we went to the Hunter Valley with Sasha and his family.We stayed over
Between Christmas and New year we went to the Hunter Valley with Sasha and his family.

We stayed overnight in a cabin in Lovedale.




During the day we tasted wines at the various wineries (found some good ones).






















The kids also loved playing at the cabin in the evenings.

























































7. January 2016 18:01
by Rene Pallesen
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Christmas 2015

7. January 2016 18:01 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

This year we decided not to celebrate on the eve of the 24 and just stick with the 25th at KC's plac
This year we decided not to celebrate on the eve of the 24 and just stick with the 25th at KC's place (too much cooking otherwise). I was responsible for the Christmas ham (with limited success).

It was a relaxing day and the kids were very exited about their presents.

























16. December 2015 13:12
by Rene Pallesen
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Silliness

16. December 2015 13:12 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Sometimes when I am setting up for a photo especially Aiden likes to jump in a get silly.It is a goo
Sometimes when I am setting up for a photo especially Aiden likes to jump in a get silly.

It is a good way to test the lighting and sometimes I managed to get a 'keeper' such as this one from a few weeks back.


16. December 2015 12:12
by Rene Pallesen
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Christmas family photo 2015

16. December 2015 12:12 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

It is almost Christmas and I've just completed our annual family Christmas photo and this is the fin
It is almost Christmas and I've just completed our annual family Christmas photo and this is the final version.



It was an interesting process getting to this photo this year. Last year we did a photo in the kitchen of us baking a cake, but this years photo has so many more elements to it.

The idea came from a combination of Kim and my ideas. Kim wanted to do a photo of the boys through a crystal ball. I actually bought the crystal ball right after Christmas last year with this year in mind.

We did a test in front of the tree in early December which was reasonably okay, but Kim didn't like the feel to it. She wanted more snow (pretty ambitious on a summers day here in Sydney Australia).



My idea for our family photo was based on me wanting to do a story of us as a family out in a snow storm 'Looking for Santa'. I had purchased a bag of artificial snow and a Christmas cape a few months back and we had some lanterns downstairs so I pretty much had all the components in place for the shoot.

I knew I had to do it as a composite with the boys as there was no way that I would be able to get the photo with all four of us at once. We did the photo over a couple of days, on the first evening (after the kids had gone to bed) I took the one of Kim and myself holding the lantern. Once I had this photo I could show it to Aiden and Lucas so that they knew what we needed them to do (Lucas just had to copy Aiden).



I had Gaffa taped markers on the floor so everyone would know where they were supposed to stand. Inside the lantern I had hidden a speedlight gelled with CTO to make it look light the lantern was lit. We are actually lit by a large Einstein strobe also with CTO, grid and barn doors to control the spill of the light.
At the back left and right were another two speedlights providing a bit of rim light to emulate moon light.

Because of the first 'failed' attempt of the crystal ball I got the idea to extend my 'Looking for Santa' photo into Santa's shed where he would have a crystal ball where he could look at us looking for him.
This would require three components - The crystal ball, the lights from the Christmas tree to create atmosphere and then Santa himself. I created Santa by hanging a hat on a chair which was easy to light and then I had another light which I used to balance the ambient with the lights from the tree.

The final photo all combined looks like the following, but in the end we decided to just use the tighter crop in the first and final photo.

1. December 2015 12:12
by Rene Pallesen
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Aiden Graduation and Christmas Concert

1. December 2015 12:12 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

It was time again for the annual Christmas concert with Aiden and Lucas' daycare.Aiden is starting '
It was time again for the annual Christmas concert with Aiden and Lucas' daycare.

Aiden is starting 'big' school after Christmas, so this was also his graduation.



Kim and Aiden had both practiced some dancing and songs for the concert and were both dressed up, Aiden as a doctor and Lucas as a pumpkin.





Although Aiden was very excited leading up to the concert and was telling everyone how he was going to sing and dance, he absolutely broke down once we got there overwhelmed by all the people and the noise.

It was heartbreaking to see him like that on an evening where he should be enjoying himself. He was crying and didn't want to get on the stage. Eventually we managed to get him up and he did try and participate.





Lucas on the other hand had a great time, unfortunately I didn't get a lot of photos of that because I had to try and comfort Aiden.





After the show Santa turned up wit presents for the kids and he was a lot happier again.







After that the graduates had their photos taken and had cake.




1. December 2015 12:12
by Rene Pallesen
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7th Anniversary

1. December 2015 12:12 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

This month Kim and I had our anniversary.I cant believe we have been married for 7 years...still lov
This month Kim and I had our anniversary.

I cant believe we have been married for 7 years...still love her to bits.

29. November 2015 22:11
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Ballet - Sleeping Beauty

29. November 2015 22:11 by Admin | 0 Comments

Saturday Kim and I went to the Sydney Opera house to watch the Sleeping Beauty performed by the Aust
Saturday Kim and I went to the Sydney Opera house to watch the Sleeping Beauty performed by the Australian Ballet.



It was one of the better ballets we have seen. The story was great and the dancing (lots of it) was of a really high quality.

The even managed to weave in some of the Red riding hood story, Puss in boots, Cinderella and other stories.

It was beautiful to watch.

25. October 2015 09:10
by Rene Pallesen
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Velvet - 2015

25. October 2015 09:10 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.It was a combination of circu
Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

1. October 2015 19:10
by Rene Pallesen
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Some more baby photos

1. October 2015 19:10 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.
I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.




















30. September 2015 18:09
by Rene Pallesen
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Claus as a tennis player

30. September 2015 18:09 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.I have
This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer