Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

End of October we moved settled and moved into the new house. Not without a bit of of drama as the previous owner wasn't out of the house at settlement...but by the end of the day she was fortunately gone.

She was living there with three little boys (terrorists), so there was a number of smaller things that had been neglected and really needed some attention and there were a number of flaws around the place that needed fixing (it seems that the solution to every problem for the previous owners was silicone glue).

Most of this is under control now thanks to my dad helping out while here for the wedding (see next posting). Both Kim and I have now moved all our things and I've put kim in charge of selecting what colours she would like the walls to be downstairs before we go out and buy furniture.

We also need to get new lights downstairs as the ones there heat up and switch themselves off (cheap crap) so I may just as well do the ceiling now that I am at it.

My dad was in Sydney for our wedding and arrived on the 5th November just in time for us to also celebrate his birthday (We took him to his favourite steak house to get his favourite T-bone steak).

It was great to have him here for the wedding as it would have been empty to not have any family members from my side at the wedding. It was also really sad that my mum couldn't come.

We had just moved into the house week before so everything was still messy and there was a lot of things that needed fixing on the house. My dad was really helpful helping me out with a lot of the thing I'd never done before such as replacing tiles in the bathroom. He also changed the locks, fixed lights, painted walls, fixed doors, leaking taps etc.

It gave us something to do together which was great for bonding. I just wish he'd been there a bit longer...but maybe I can convince him to come back to help me build a pergola.

We also managed to do a bit of sightseeing around Sydney and it was great that he got a chance to meet Kims family.



The wedding was something different for him and I think that he was pretty frustrated that he didn't know what the asian customs were (not a typical Danish wedding).

He did give a really good speech at the wedding and I'm sorry to say that everything he said is true (although not everything was accurate).

This weekend we went up to Barrenjoey...a beautiful day. It was 31 degrees in Sydney but this time of the year the rocks here are mostly in the shade all day and there was a nice sea breeze running through the area.

We started with a couple of nice warm-ups and then moved onto one of my test pieces "Pillar of Mordor (19)". It is thin and sustained and really not very well protected so I have always back off leading it. Both Phil and I did lead it although not completely clean.

After this we did "Mescalito (19)" which is one of my favourite climbs there. Phil placed a cam in one of the breaks and it fell out and dropped down to the next bolt...fortunately he carried another cam to put in the break and eventually got up to the next bolt and through the climb.

The day was almost over and I had to go to the airport but Phil had his eyes on this climb "...Cab Sav (19)". The bottom bit of the climb is all protected by cams and the top bit is really thin and pumpy. Phil got up past the natural gear and clipped the first bolt. He then moved on and was struggling when clipping the second bolt but eventually got it. He then moved to the thirt and last bolt on the climb and as he moved up his foot caught the quickdraw and without him noticing the boltplate came off the bolt (He had clipped the botlplate upside down). He kept climbing up and got up to the third bolt, but because the previous bolt had fallen off it would have been a ground fall if he had fallen off. Phil was really struggling clipping it but we were so relieved on the ground once he did.

That was a really close one and it is the second time I've seen someone clip those types of plates wrong...bloody dangerous.

We have bought a house now. We have signed the contract from our part and paid the deposit and our solicitor has received the signed contract from the Vendor. The property has now finally been pulled off the market by the real estate agent (that idiot) and we are looking at moving into the new place in mid/late October (before 24th October). Now we just need to go through all the mortgage application documents which if anything like last time I applied for a home load will be a lot of bureaucracy filling out triplicates, getting copies certified by rocket scientists (whom you have known for at least 40 years and who have worked in the industry since the Apollo program).




This will be perfect as it means that Kim and I will have something to live in after the wedding (The current apartment is not really suitable and I would like Kim to feel like it is her home as well).The place is in Botany in the Eastern Suburbs and it is very close to Kim's family (about a 200 meter walk to one of her sisters and 5 minutes drive from her dad). And more importantly it is reasonably close to the city (10km) and away from the flight path of the airport.


We don't have much furniture so the place will be a bit empty in the beginning until we get the essentials. Kims sister has already donated us a dining table but we need to get items such as a bed and a washing machine immediately and then also items such as a sofa, entertainment unit etc.


It is a terrace house and has got the potential to do some really nice things to it. It is spacious on the inside and has got a small backyard that doesn't require too much maintenance. There is a bit of painting and maintenance that needs to be done immediately to the outdoor areas but nothing that cannot be managed. I am also sure that Kim would like have some painting done internally. My dad will arrive just after we have moved in so I am sure he won't get bored while here.




This Torrens title oversized terrace offers an ease of living combined with great design features spread over three very generous levels. Be immediately impressed by the flawless presentation and the impeccable renovation of this striking tri-level terrace. Enjoying an elevated position.
A handy convenient setting with ample street parking. Generous living with separate formal and casual areas. Tranquil north facing backyard and outdoor entertaining. Modern kitchen with breakfast bar stainless steel appliances. Upstairs bedrooms with built-ins, two with private balconies. Well appointed for care free modern living. Intelligently designed to maximise space and light. Dressed in fresh contemporary tones and polished floors
Automatic garage for two cars with internal access. Easy walk to local parks, schools, shops and transport


If you read the score further down in this blog, then you will know that the score now is 4 out of 5...just the wedding to complete to get 5 big events done within the same 6 months timeframe.

This weekend we went climbing up at Berowra (northern part of Sydney). It has been raining a lot and been very cold lately, but this day was sunny and very pleasant so no need for the down jacket and the gloved that I had brought with me.

Andy had just bought a new HD video camera and was keen to try it out and he got some really good footage og me climbing as well as Phil falling. Click here to see video


I actually had a really bad day climbing. I think work is stressing me out at the moment and one one of the first few climbs I freaked out when I got to a section with only slopers as hand holds (if you see the video then it was at the section where Phil shouts "YES!"). I was pretty upset when it happened and I was unable to get back into the right headspace.

The rest of the afternoon I was doing top ropes but had blown my strength and self esteem.

Last week I was in Brisbane for some SharePoint training for the company. It was four days of intensive training but it was worth it and it was nice going up north where it is a bit warmer than here in Sydney at the moment.

I flew up there Tuesday morning leaving home at 5am to catch a 6am flight. It was the morning after my Birthday so Kim and I decided to just have a quiet evening and then celebrate some other time (Kim is going to take me to a nice restaurant).



I found a couple of good restaurants in Brisbane and one night I had Moreton Bay Bugs (Look like a giant cockroach). I also went for a walk to Kangaroo Point which is a big climbing area along the river in Brisbane. It is all lit up and actually looks like good climbing. I was surprised to find people climbing at night and also surprised to find that almost everyone was toproping rather than lead climbing (Everything is nicely bolted so there really is no excuse).

This year we again went skiing on the weekend closest to my birthday. We tried to get the same house as we did last year, but unfortunately it was already booked so we had to settle for an apartment. This did mean that we only had two bedrooms instead of three so it was only Soeren and Nui (and Freja) and Kim and I staying there. Kims ex-colleague Mark had to settle with staying at a caravan park.

The first day Soeren and I drove up to Perisher in my new car (first long trip in it) while the girls did their own thing. When we got back late afternoon after a whole day of skiing they had organised all the ingredients for a nice BBQ and marinated all the meat…yummy. Mark came over for dinner with Daniel and we had a nice evening with a couple of bottles of wine.

Next morning we got a late start (it took the other guys a bit of time to get ready) and we went to hire some additional gear for the girls to go skiing as well. This time we went to Thredbo which is much better in terms of variation of the runs and also the length. The longest run there is 3.7 kilometers. The girls took an instructor class (I think it is better if Kim gets an instructor by herself next time as she will get more attention).



It was a fairly short skiing day as we finished at three and then went on our way to the 5+ hour drive back to Sydney. Next year I think I'll take a lesson as well...I am getting pretty good at it now, but just need a few pointers to get even better especially at black runs and moguls.

About two months ago a crashed and wrote off my old car...pretty silly but what can you do. Fortunately it was old and was already starting to cause problems and cost me a lot in repairs. Kim had already hinting that maybe it was time to get a new car and that the car was trying to tell me something.
The car was 11 years, the engine was leaking every fluid imaginable and the gearbox was slipping and there was rust developing so the timing to get a new car was pretty good.

The insurance paid me a good price for the old car...a lot more than I would have received if I had used it as a tradein to buy a new one.

After chasing around the city for a second hand car...amongst which there were some pretty dodgy deals the choice came down to either buy an 6 months old ex-rental or a new one. There was a $4000 difference and by the end of the day the decision came down to us needing that money once we buy a property so I decided to get the ex-rental. It is a nice blueish gray (Aztec Blue) Toyota Corolla. It will have its first test run this weekend when we go down to the snow in it.




Kim and I could probably have gotten by with just one car, but hers is too small to fit golf gear, ski & climbing gear etc. into and the new car is harder for her to drive because of the size...so for now we'll have two cars.


The score so far is:

Kim new job: Done
Rene new job: Done
New car: Done
Wedding: Pending
House: Pending


3 out of 5 aint bad

Some years back my mum had a stroke while my parents were traveling in Thailand. This left totally paralysed in the left side of her body and she has been bound to a wheelchair ever since.

The stroke was most likely caused by heavy smoking and drinking and in general an unhealthy lifestyle.

This all happened a few years after my parents retired and were planning to spend most of the winters traveling in warmer countries. They have always been traveling a lot and never liked the winters in Denmark.
The realisation after the stroke for my parents was that suddenly those dreams were burst and that my mum would need constant care. My dad negotiated with the council that they would look after her one week a month which left my dad with some time to realise some of his dreams and at leaft do some traveling and at the same time provide some relief from looking after mum. It has been a hard blow to my mum and it is still very hard for her to accept that she will be bound to a wheelchair and dependent on other people for simple tasks such as going to the toilet, washing and getting dressed.


My mum some time ago discovered that some of the traveling my dad had done hadn't taken place alone but with an old female school friend (How intimate they were/are I don't know and don't care) but obviously my mum got very hurt and set the ultimatum that either he stops seeing her or she moves out. My dad said that he didn't want to stop seeing her and that he would still keep looking after my mum except for that one week every month.


It has now come to the point where my mum has found an apartment in a care facility and it going to move there this month. I am sure that it hurts a lot for her to move out.

Another blow has been that I am getting married in a few months time and that it is not possible for her to attend my wedding but that my dad is. It will be really hard for her on the day itself and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for her or somehow allow her to attend.


So how do I feel about this? I am disappointed, angry and understanding at the same time. I am angry at my mum because she insisted smoking and drinking the way she did and tat this caused a stroke.

I am angry at my dad that he's found someone else and that is causing my mum to move out...she is the one totally loosing out. I am disappointed that their marriage and thereby also my family is breaking up.

I also understand why my dad has been longing for some company on different level and at the same time I also understand why my mum is so hurt about it. I am hurt because I know that my mum needs some support but that I am so far away but at the same time my life is here and I am about to get married here.I just hope that she understands that my happiness is dependent on me staying here. Especially since the stupid danish immigration laws will prevent me from moving back to Denmark with my future wife.


I am also hurt because my parents during the last decade has been through so much hardship first with my brother, then with the stroke and now with all this.


This is certainly a year of change...