Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

This weekend we took the kids for a walk with some friends from Maroubra to Lurline Bay.

It is a nice little pleasant walk that is easy for the kids.




They loved jumping between the boulders.




...and exploring the small rock pools.







Because of the recent storms the beach was full of Blue bottles, so no playing in the sand this time around.





They are nasty little creatures that will sting you badly if you touch them.




This surfer was being very careful in his bare feet.

Earlier this month it was Lucas birthday.

We didn't have a kids party for him, but we did celebrate with the family.







We gave him a new bike for his birthday...he was stunned and didn't know what to think of it, but he loves riding it now.

Last weekend there was a Lego exhibition in the city.

We caught the train in to St James station and walked from there.





It was a fairly small exhibition with my favourite being the pirate ship with all the details of the lower decks.












There was also some Ninjago and Star wars.










And a lot of other pieces.

Rather than keeping all the kids artwork I instead take photos of it.

Here is some of the latest additions.

I did a couple of different sets with Valerie. Depending on the makeup she would look totally different and unrecognisable.

I call this my 'Get Lost' photo...bit of attitude.







Model: Valerie Peovska
Hair: Cara Leupuscek
Makeup: Melisa Tomic
Set: Studio 1A Sydney

The last of the girls that I shot at the window set was Edyta.

She has got a bit more of a rough look to her...a bit like Geena Davis in 'Long Kiss Goodnight'.

Being at the window with soft light everywhere the tough look didn't work for me, but I did manage to get this photo which emotionally is a bit more on the lighter side.




Model: Edyta Jedrzejowska
Hair: Cara Leupuscek
Makeup: Melisa Tomic
Set: Studio 1A Sydney

Another Natural Light shoot that I did was with a girl called Britney.

She has a very photogenic face if done right. I also did a couple of shots in one of the sets but I just couldn't make it work as well as with soft natural light.




Again I was shooting with the Samyang but it was a bit later in the day so it was easier to control the light.



Photographer: Rene Pallesen
Model: Britney Williams
Hair: Cara Leupuscek
Makeup: Melisa Tomic
Sets: Studio 1A Sydney

One of the model was a more mature girl by the name of Sarah.

I had the pleasure of shooting her using natural light next to one of the windows in the upstairs studio.

The Look I was going for was a more soft Boudoir type look and I think I managed to capture that in this photo.



I found it really hard shooting using natural light. I was using a new Samyang 85mm f/1.4 lens that I bought. The look I wanted required me to shoot it at 1.4 but the light at the window was fairly bright so I was constantly hitting the ceiling of how low the ISO could go and how high shutter speed I had.

Model: Sarah Lucien
Hair and Makeup: Carla Vallelonga
Lights: Natural

I had a blast of a day this Sunday participating in a modelling workshop with Studio 1A...22 models, 10 makeup artists, 20 sets and lots of opportunity to take great photos.

I was totally buggered after shooting for 5 hours but it was great for building experience.

This was one of my favorite photos (many more to come) from the day.



Model: Taylia Lopez
Lighting & Set: Studio 1A
Hair & Make-up: Kabuki Mee Designs

A cute moment of Lucas attempting to draw and with a very snotty nose.

This is a test shot using a new Samyang 85mm f/1.4 lens that I recently bought.

It is a manual focus lens so it is harder to use (especially with the kids), but this shot shows what beautiful results I am getting when shooting wide open.

We are training Aiden at the moment. The other day he did a big one on the toilet and as a reward we gave him the dinosaur that we had promised him.

My Aunty and her husband arrived to Australia a couple of days ago and will be traveling around the country for the next 5 weeks.
They asked if they could come over for dinner one evening to see where/how we live, so Saturday night we hosted them at our place.
It is not often that I have relatives in this part of the world, so when it does happen then it is nice even if it is just for a short visit.



The menu was Kims lemon pepper prawns for starters, Duck breast with home made bearnaise and raspberry creme brulee for desert (plus a lot of other goodies such as dips and cheese and wine).

They were supposed to have arrived the night before but their flight was delayed so they arrived 6am in the morning going straight to their hotel and then straight onto a bicycle tour around Sydney. From there they went straight to our place...they must have been buggered...

Last weekend we went down to La Perouse to do some family photos as we needed some new ones. We decided to do some on the lawn in front of the tower.
Lucas was not in the mood to have his photo taken and wanted to be held all the time so we decided to stick to using the picture frame that I had brought along.



Aiden on the other hand was having a blast of a time running, climbing and playing.

Monday it was St Patricks day (an Irish thing) and at daycare they were celebrating it by putting colour and hairspray in the kids hair (Green is the Irish National colour).

Aiden came back with very spiky hair and was his own cheeky self about it...