On Sunday the 16th November 2008 I got married to Kim. It was a fantastic day and thanks to family and friends joining us making this a very memorable day.


My day started out (Kims started much earlier) in the morning with my Best Man (Andy) as well as a number of other friends coming over to my house picking up trays, organising ribbons on cars and picking up supplies for the wedding ceremony.

Kim had earlier in the morning left the house to go to her dads place to get dressed and have hair and makeup done.

Once we got the call saying that she was ready we drove over to her dads place and on the way there we were stopped by the police who insisted on breath testing us...sorry guys you were out too early, we hadn't started drinking yet.

At Kims place I had to bribe my way in through the door before they would let me in...all part of the tradition.



Once I was let in my friends carried the trays of fruit, wine and noodles upstairs and this was the first time I saw Kim looking absolutely gorgeous in her wedding dress.
We then started the Tea Ceremony where we first had to pay respect to the elders by burning incense and then serve tea to the parents. In return they would then present us with red envelopes containing money and Kim's dad also gave Kim an old bracelet and ring that used to belong to her mum.



After the Tea ceremony I drove down to La Perouse where the wedding ceremony was going to take place. We were a bit early so they were still getting ready. The wind was really strong so the garden arch needed wires to stay in place etc.

Once all the guests has arrived (around 40-50) Kim arrived in Nancys car with her bridesmaid (Natalie) and the ceremony could begin.

Some years back my mum had a stroke while my parents were traveling in Thailand. This left totally paralysed in the left side of her body and she has been bound to a wheelchair ever since.

The stroke was most likely caused by heavy smoking and drinking and in general an unhealthy lifestyle.

This all happened a few years after my parents retired and were planning to spend most of the winters traveling in warmer countries. They have always been traveling a lot and never liked the winters in Denmark.
The realisation after the stroke for my parents was that suddenly those dreams were burst and that my mum would need constant care. My dad negotiated with the council that they would look after her one week a month which left my dad with some time to realise some of his dreams and at leaft do some traveling and at the same time provide some relief from looking after mum. It has been a hard blow to my mum and it is still very hard for her to accept that she will be bound to a wheelchair and dependent on other people for simple tasks such as going to the toilet, washing and getting dressed.


My mum some time ago discovered that some of the traveling my dad had done hadn't taken place alone but with an old female school friend (How intimate they were/are I don't know and don't care) but obviously my mum got very hurt and set the ultimatum that either he stops seeing her or she moves out. My dad said that he didn't want to stop seeing her and that he would still keep looking after my mum except for that one week every month.


It has now come to the point where my mum has found an apartment in a care facility and it going to move there this month. I am sure that it hurts a lot for her to move out.

Another blow has been that I am getting married in a few months time and that it is not possible for her to attend my wedding but that my dad is. It will be really hard for her on the day itself and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for her or somehow allow her to attend.


So how do I feel about this? I am disappointed, angry and understanding at the same time. I am angry at my mum because she insisted smoking and drinking the way she did and tat this caused a stroke.

I am angry at my dad that he's found someone else and that is causing my mum to move out...she is the one totally loosing out. I am disappointed that their marriage and thereby also my family is breaking up.

I also understand why my dad has been longing for some company on different level and at the same time I also understand why my mum is so hurt about it. I am hurt because I know that my mum needs some support but that I am so far away but at the same time my life is here and I am about to get married here.I just hope that she understands that my happiness is dependent on me staying here. Especially since the stupid danish immigration laws will prevent me from moving back to Denmark with my future wife.


I am also hurt because my parents during the last decade has been through so much hardship first with my brother, then with the stroke and now with all this.


This is certainly a year of change...