This weekend we again drove up to the hunter valley about two hours drive North of Sydney. We left at 7am and met the other guys up there just after 9am.


This time we went a big group of us but only three of us were tasting wine. The others were taking photos.



Kim and I have spent a fair amount of time in the Hunter Valley and have a lot of favourite wines in the area. This time we decided to try some new and smaller places that we hadn't been to before. The challenge is still to find a sub $20 bottle of wine that is really good. It is pretty hard...but not impossible.




In total we went to 9 vineyards to taske their wines. Some of the favourites this time was Gartelmann (The Wilhelm Shiraz is a good buy) and Peterson Estate (Kim loooved the sparkling desert wine).

For lunch we went to a restaurant called The Verandah. They have a tapas style menu. The food was ok but a bit on the pricey side (but most of the . My favourite place in Hunter is a place called Mojo...but they are only open for dinner.



Bimbadgen really let us down this time. They have some really good wines there, but the customer service was appalingly bad! They did not provide any assistance and were very rude (not just limited to one person there). I wanted to buy a couple of their wines but ended up walking away because there was no-one there to help.

This weekend it was Ethans 8th Birthday and his parents had organised a Birthday party for all his friends. As the last couple of years Kim and I was asked if we could facepaint the kids (We are not really good at face painting but the kids really don't care). Most of the kids had some degree of autism so just getting them to stand still while we paint them is a challenge.

The previous two years I was dressed up as a pirat but decided to do something something different this year. I wanted to come dressed as a monster (Ethan likes Monsters) but Kim though that I shouldn't scare the kids and that I should come as a joker instead. We bought a hat and some stripey tights...it looked really funny.



One of the parent though I was a paid helper when we arrived and started issuing me orders regarding that I really should be watching the kids so that they wouldn't injure themselves in the jumping castle that they had hired...he must have found it really unprofessional when I brushed him off ignoring his orders (I have a strong belief that kids should be allowed to be kids and that we in this modern age is too cautious protecting them)...and he must have felt really silly when he realised that I was a member of the family.



The rest of the day was spent playing games with the kids (They had good fun when I started spraying them with water with a water pistol...until I was told by the same parent that I should stop because the jumping castle was getting slippery).

The 'Donkeys Tail' game was a bit of a non-event...all the kids cheated and placed the tail where you would expect the tail to be. All credit to the kids...at least they know where the tail goes on animals.



After the party Kim wanted some alone time with me and we decided to go and watch a movie. There wasn't any good movies on that I wanted to watch so I let Kim decide...and we ended up watching a chick flick.

Dolls are a Necessity...

Kim and I went with a couple of friends to Capitol Theatre to see Guys and Dolls. This was my christmas present from Kim ('give me experiences instead of objects').


It was really good...I think I prefer the lightheartedness of musicals to Operas. Capitol Theatre is one of the great theatres in Sydney. In inside decor is old and glamourous. The Dancing and the singing in the show was really good.




Poor guys...the Dolls seem to have the upper hand in this story.


In one of the roles was Kenny...from a famous Australian movie 'Kenny'. I have no idea what his real name is.

This weekend Andy and I decided to explore a new climbing area in the Sydney Area (We are running out of places to climb within Sydney and sometime Sydney is too long a drive).

This time we decided on a small area called Blue Bell in the Southern part of Sydney in the Heathcote National Park.

Once we arrived we had to find the access to the cliffs. The carpark is almost on the top of the cliffs near houses, but the area doesn't get a lot of traffic so there is no good tracks. Eventually we found our way down with some a lot of bush bashing.

We decided to start on a couple of easier climbs on the Mini Wall where there was some grade 16 climbs (and 10/11's). They were far from being grade 16. The first two climbs (Anika 16 and Nathan 16) were harder than what they were graded at. Both Andy and I were finding it hard and agreed that the climbing felt more like a 18 or 19...and we were both thinking "what the fu.. is wrong there!". We then looked at who had graded the climbs and it turned out to be the same person a Jason Lammers. We decided that this may be one very dangerous Wanker and decided to take other climbs that he'd graded with caution (Next day I found another website describing the climb as being a lot harder...this guy graded it as a 6a = 19).

After this we moved to the main wall and did another climb at the same grade (Sparky 16) and this turned out to be really nice a cruisy and this would potentially be a good lear-to-lead climb for someone who is comfortable in the gym.



After this we moved onto a bit harder climb (Heathcote 18) graded by the same idiot Jason Lammers. Someone who is only just comfortable at this grade would be in real trouble here. The top move is really delicate; in fact so delicate that Andy were totally unable to complete the move and bailed after a a number of attempts (and a lot of falls).
I then tried the climb and eventually after a couple of falls managed to complete the move...and boy that is really balancy. You hand on to this slobing groove and then do a high stepup. you then balance your left hand up the wall until you reach a good hold up very high (as Andy put it: "A typical Rene move"). I would grade it as a 21 move...three grades harder that the wanker graded it.

We had a look at the climb next to it (Screaming Cookatoos 18) and decided to do this on a top rope given that the top move looked dubious and that we hadn't had much luck with grades.
Lucky that because the top move it really reachy and fairly thin. It would have taken a lot of commitment and knowing exactly where the only good hold is (which isn't great) to be able to complete it and then you still have to put a plate on the carrot bolt and clip it from this position before moving to the anchor. They really should have put a ring bolt here and they could have put the bolt a bit lover so it could be clipped from below protecting this move better.

By the way this area is a weird mix of Ring bolts, fixed hangers, ringbolts, gear, chain anchors, ring bolt anchors and topouts....great job guys!!! Anyway we had a really good day but we didn't dare try any of the many 19, 20, 21's (which is my comfortable lead limit) in the area as most of them were graded by the same guy. Without including these climbs the area is too small to return to in the near future.

Instead of a christmas present Kim gave me tickets for the opera. This year for the Magic Flute by Mozart.




It was different from most of the other operas I've seen in that no-one dies in it and it wasn't one of this big tragegies.

She had gotten us some good seats with a good view of the stage...and we had a really nice evening out.

The NSW government currently provides a rebate for anyone insulating their house ceilings.I had already considered doing it anyway as it does cool down the house during the summer and keeps it slightly warmer during the winter time.



So I spent 5-6 evenings crawling around the roof cavity spreading out the insulation bats. Some of the ceiling was really hard to get to.

What can I say? I don't like going out on Valentines Day, but I still enjoy a romantic evening out...so this year we decided to celebrate Valentines day evening before (And I gave Kim flowers the day before that...and they were so fresh that they kept for two weeks). We went to a nice little restaurant at Balmoral Beach called the Watermark.



The food was really nice, the scenery was really nice (slight drizzle), the Wine was fantastic (Canonbah Shiraz 'Drought Reserve' 2004)...and lastly my beautiful wife was gorgeous as always.

Yeah...summer in Sydney. We have fantastic beaches here in Sydney and unfortunately we don't use them enough (Water is too cold). We did however manage to get to Maroubra beach a couple of afternoons this summer.

Every year in Januar and February there is a big festival on in Sydney with different entertainment provided for free by the city and different sponsors. It is hard to make time to see everything, but we did have time to go and see the the Opera in the domain.



We went there with Berry and his wife and had a nice evening.

This weekend Andy and I were supposed to have been going to Nowra to climb Saturday and Sunday, but the Australian weather dictated otherwise with 42 degrees in the shade Saturday.

Instead we changed the plans and went to Dams Cliffs in the Blue Mountains Sunday. This area is easily accessible, mainly in the shade and had got some great moderately graded climbs.

This was great as May also could join us. She had a really uncomfortable climb in Nowra with some friends some months ago and was afraid of getting back leading climbs (from her own words she was afraid to die). Nowra cen be very different and intimidating to someone going there the first time. We had a 7.30am start and she was half asleep when we picked her up and slept most of the way in the car.

When we got to the cliffs we decided to start on an easy warmup called"The Sisters of Fatima 16" and we asked May to do the first lead and she did a really good job. After this she seemed to have gotten over her fear.



We then moved over to a more moderate climb called "Shadow of the Goat 19" where I did the first lead...pleasant enough. We continued to "Truancy Officer 20" which I also led but which we decided was far easier (probably a 17).

After this we decided to stay in the 20+ territory and moved to a climb called "Vasco Pyjama 22" and Andy too the first lead.



At the second bolt he reached the Crux (The most difficult section on a climb) and after a number of tries coming off every time he bailed. When he got down he said "This climb has got Rene written all over it, it is a move that is in your territory!', so I was up next. I got up to the same section, and had a look at it a saw 2-3 possible ways through the section, but decided to go for a very long and very balancy reach first and managed to stick the top hold in the first attempt without falling off.

After this section the rest of the climb was easy. Both and and May then toproped the same climb (This is where the rope has already been placed on the top of the climb...which I had just done) and may cruised through the same section, but Andy still struggled. I honestly think that despite it being a long reach this is one of those climbs where it is an advantage being short.

After this we could decided what to do next. I was keen on doing another climb next to it called "Friendly Fire 22" but was worried about getting stuck half way up and not being able to clean it. One of the women climbing in one of the other groups said that if I'd just climb the previous one then this would be a lot easier (Looked a lot harder to me) so I decided to give it a go and lead it.

I was glad that I did, because the section that looked really difficult from the ground turned out to be sustained but now massively difficult once I got up there...this just proved that you should just jump on any climb that looks remotely climbable and is well protected regardless of its grade...they are just subjective numbers anyway.

After this we decided it was time to head back to the Big Smoke even though we were still strong enough to do another climb....it was getting late!


Download video of Rene Climbing at Dam Cliffs

On the last day in Denmark our flight wasn't leaving from Copenhagen to Milan until early evening, we therefore decided to head into the capital a bit earlier in the day and spend a couple of hours sightseeing with my parents.

We went to a place called Rosenborg (Rose Castle) which is where the Danish royals keep their crown jewels.



It is also the place where they train the soldiers that protect the royals.



Some of the jewels are absolutely stunning. There is lots of ivory, old weapons, saddles, gold etc. everything coverved with diamonds, perls, emeralds, rubys and other jewels.















My mum and dad was waiting outside (half asleep) while we were inside looking at all the awsomeness.

While we were in Denmark we went to the local zoo called Knuthenborg. It was created by the owner of one of the big farms who had a vision to create one of Europes larges open air zoos. What is so special about this particular zoo is that you drive around amongst the animals and in certain areas are allowed to leave the car and interact with the animals.

The first place we went was the monkey area. Here we were able to walk around some of the Lemurs (Half monkeys) from Madagascar.





Driving around we also saw a number of other animals such as the asian water buffalo (which loves mud), zebras, Zobel Antelopes, Goats










Kim even found a horse her own size



We had a bit of fun with the camels. I don't know what they were thinking but they kept eating my hair and I think one of them was in love with me.







They also have some more exotic animals there such as tigers and rhinos (The wouldn't allow us to get out of our car to pet these).

Not far from where my parent live there is an open air museum displaying how people lived in the medieval time which in Denmark was the late 14th century.

For Kim and I it felt like we suddenly were a princess and a knight from that time.











Besides from houses, ships and other buildings the place also displays various handicraft, weaponry and how people battles in those times.

They have working Trebuchets there to throw massive stones (or dead animals and burning tar) accurately for distances of more than several hundred metres.



Every day they show people how they work and hurl massive stones into the water.


We tried some of the weapons. I used to be fairly alright with a bow and arrow when I was a kid. I tried the bow and arrow here and it was a total disaster.





Obviously Kim went straigh for the shoes and the furs (I am not a fur person myself):





They also had a knights tournament on while we were there. Two knights would fight using their lances which would shatter on the impact against the shields.

On one of the days in Denmark we had a really nice and relatively calm day. This was perfect for us to go sailing and bring my mum along.



First we had to get my mum onboard. The Sailing clum has a crane for removing masts from the boats. This is perfect for lifting her in a specially designed harness from her wheelchair to the boat.







The water between the two islands (Lolland and Falster...the island I grew up on) is fairly narrow and long and we spent time sailing north for a couple of hours, had some lunch whereafter we turned back again. It was a beautiful day and my mum really enjoyed it as well.

We managed to take some really nice family photos on the trip.








On the same evening we had a beautiful sunset.

When Kim and i got married last year we promised my mum that we would come to Denmark this summer (European) and have a little party with her as she was unable to attend.

Our journey there didn't start well. A five hour delay from Sydney meant that we missed our flight in London. British Airways told us that we wouldn't be able to get on a flight until next day but we insisted that they get get on us a flight the same day. They waitlisted us on a couple of flight and eventually we managed to get to Copenhagen late the same evening. Thanks to modern technology my parents were updated with the flight details so they didn't have to wait around and they arrived to the airport just before we arrived.
It took our luggage another two days to catch up with us, this meant that we had to do some essential clothes shopping.


The first couple of day we spent with my parent, cooking for them, taking my mum to the forest, the beach as well as going sailing. It is summer time in Denmark at the moment, so the weather was a lot more pleasant than the last time we were there and there was more people at the beach etc.





It was a bit weird visiting this time. My mum and dad are no longer living together and they had sold the house week before we arrived. This meant that we were staying in my dads apartment (Which used to be my brothers) and visiting my mum during the day. My mum has got a really nice little apartment in a facility where there are people around to assist her whenever she needs help.



My mum has also still got the car, so it is easier to take her to places as it has got a lift and special belts to secure the wheelchair.



At the end of the week my dad had organised a party for my family and friends. It was in the middle of the holiday season, so a lot of cousins and other family members were unable to join.







It was especially good to see my grandma (who is 89).



We were in Denmark a total of 10 days before then heading to Italy.

Kim likes to have a lot of parties (Pre-Party, Party and Post Party) when it is her birthday. This weekend we had a big group of her friends over for a BBQ.

It is currently winter here, but it was nice and sunny, so the backyard was still warm in the mid twenty degrees so we were able to sit outside.



Kim had baked cupcakes the night before and used the cupcake stand from our wedding to present them and it looked fantastic.

Last year I took Kim to Hunter Valley for her birthday. This year we decided to head up to the cold Blue Mountains.

We hired a cabin that we stayed in a couple of years ago. It is a nice little self contained cottage in the Blue Mountains...loads of privacy and a nice little woodfire and spa.





It was cold up there so the wood fire was very convenient.

Saturday morning we had booked a round of golf at Leura golf course. The first thing you notice here is that everyone plays really slowly. We got let through two groups but still managed to complete the round in less than 4 hours. It is a beautiful course and it was one of the most enjoyable rounds of golf I'd played for a long time.



And as you can tell Kim was very relaxed too.



And here showing the latest in golf fashion.



In the afternoon we had a look at Leura (Kim had the munchies for scones) and we had a look at the local shops.


In the evening it was time to celebrate her Birthday so I took her out to dinner at Echos Point Restaurant. Food was ok, but overprices compared to many really good Sydney restaurants. But there was plenty of food so we skipped the desert...and had a really nice and romantic evening, so Kim was very happy.



Next morning we woke up early to have a look at a few shops and gardens around the place. First we went to a garden called Everglades...nice, but would have been nicer once the flowers are out in late winter (It is winter here in Oz now) . After that we went to Mount Tomah botanical gardens. These are very nice, there was plenty of flowers and the layout of the gardens is really nice.









I bought a new tripod for photography last week so we decided to have some fun around the place with jump shots.

This year Sydney has put on a fantastic lightshow in the city centre. Purpose is to draw people into the city here at winter time.

One evening after having dinner with a couple of friends, Kim and I went in there to take some photos of some of the light shows....and here are the results.

Yesterday on the 11th June Adam was born by Kim's sister Dao. He is an impatient little bugger and decided to arrive two weeks early and later at night while all the other boys in the family were out watching the soccer match between Australia and Bahrain.

Suddenly Wednesday evening Dao called saying that she'd started going into labour. Normally Wednesday is my climbing night but luckily I was home this evening. Kim and I quickly picked up KC (Kims other sister) and they took the car (while I stayed with KC's kids) to go and pick up Dao and bring her to the hospital.



She was in labour until after midnight and in the early hours Thursday arrived.

We all went there yesterday to have a look and both mother and child is doing fine. And Dylan (on the left in the photo) is excited to have a baby brother.

Today Andy and I went climbing at a place called Cathedral at Bangor in the southern part of Sydney.

None of us has been there before but according to the description we should park at the end of this street and then it would be a 5 minute scramble from there.

We found the start of the track ok, but 15 minutes later we were still bush bashing out way trying to spot markers that would indicate where the cliffs were.



Half way down I dropped my water bottle out of my backpack and it disappeared between some rocks. I went down to retrieve it and then we continued down the gully into dense rain forest full of impenetratable bamboo. After taking a couple of turns with dead-ends we could see glimses of the river. and after about a 25 minute walk we suddenly found ourselves on this really nice little beach.



Andy mumbled that there was no way that he was going to go back the same way and he'd rather walk a big detour along the river. We could now see the cliffline and walked down to the end of the beach where we went back into the forest along a track that let us to the cliffs.

We could see why it was called The Cathedral.



The cliffs are massive, intimidating and completely blank of any features that lend themselves to climbing. We had a hard time finding the various routes and started scrambling along the base at the cliffs. We got to the end of the cliffline and I shoulted "I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE!". Andy looked at me confused and asked "You've climbed here before". I replied..."No, I have been here before...This is where I dropped my waterbottle". DOOOHHH...we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we had turned left here instead of going straight...and suddenly then way back out didn't look so bad.

Anyway we couldn't figure out the climbs so I decided to jump onto a grade 21 climb called Imogen. I got to the first bolt and started moving up on really bad feet (small pebbles) going for a very long reach. Eventually my foothold broke and I slid down the side of the rock getting a sandpaper cut on my arm and leg. We decided to bail the climb and find something that was more suitable for warming up on.



We scrambled down to the other end and found a number of grade 16...but eventually I settled for a climb called "Ozone Action (17 ***)" which is what is a mixed climb (part bolted and geared climbing).

This was a really good one. It was sustained at the grade and had everything in it...laybacks, chimney, mantel, overhang, slab, face climbing etc. If anyone does it then follow the advise and bring cams/slings....is it desperately run-out unless protected.




I set up a belay at the top and Andy followed me up...with a big smile on his face. After this we absailed down to the grade 16's. All good fun...and I toproped something that I'm sure is harder.

After this it was time to pack up and head back.

One evening I went to see Thai boxing or Muay Thai as it is called locally.

I asked the rest of the family if anyone wanted to join me, but they all said no (it is the national sport of Thailand).



I had been once before long time ago in Bangkok and wanted to experience it again.

I decided to pay the bit extra and get a VIP seat right next to the ring and that was definitely worth the extra money.

There were 8 fights that evening. The first fight was between two kids around 11 years old. Especially the kid in black shorts was very strong and was dominating the fight throughout.













The second fight was between two older teenagers. Again the kid in black was dominating the match.






The third fight was between to women, a Canadian and a Thai. The canadian girl looked very relaxed and was definitely ready to fight. The Thai girl had no chance against her and the match ended in knockout.

Before each fight they go through this unique dance ritual.









I was privileged to sit next to one of the judges who has happy to talk, so between each round I could ask him questions about the scoring system which is rather confusing.

The 4th match was between a French and a Thai. The foreigners are really dominating this sport now and the Thai's were generally struggling.

















As with all the fights wit foreigners this fight also ended in a knockout.



The 5th fight was back to two Thais fighting.





















One of the last fights was between a brazilian and a Thai. When walking into the ring you could tell that the brazil was very strong.




He started by kicking the Thai in the chest and then punched him in the face.

The fight lasted less than a minute before a knockout.








The last fight was more in the heavyweight class, again between a brazilian and a Thai.

This fight was full of power and again it ended up in knockout.





































After the fights I happened see the winners lining up out the back. I managed to get a photo with a couple of them.




...yeah, I look really convincing there.








This evening was definitely one of my highlights from the trip and if we were going back then I would probably go again. The atmosphere is amazing and if the fighters are good then the experience is phenomenal.

One morning Kim booked a trip out to some of the smaller islands of Phuket.

The trip was in a large speed boat and initially the family didn't want to go because they were worried about getting seasick, but eventually they changed their minds.



The boys loved the experience and were very proud wearing their life jackets.








On the island we could feed the fish from the beach.
















And there was time to play in the water for the boys (and a bit of snorkeling for me).



















It is also good to see that they are still using their long tail boats for traditional fishing.

After visiting the big Buddha we stopped to feed a baby elephant.

The kids were a little overwhelmed by its trunk, but fun nevertheless.

After Wat Chalong we went up to see the Big Buddha on top of a big hill.

The Buddha itself is 45 metres tall and is very impressive.



They have been building there for the past 10 years and will probably be building for at least another 10.





While there we also did a little prayer for Kim's mum.







And Aiden being his cheeky self did the 3 monkeys pose.




And they loved the big gongs (which you actually rub rather than gong).






Surprisingly they also in a far corner of the compound had some indian gods, but maybe not so surprising since we were close to Myanmar with a large indian based population (lots of Myanmar people in Phuket).

One morning we ventured out to see one of the islands biggest temples, the Wat Chalong.

It is a magnificent temple with lots to see and it was a pity that the rest of the family didn't want to join us.





















The temple contains what is said to be a bone fragment of buddha.




And the temple itself is full of golden buddhas.







Outside there are some elephant sculptures and across from that an areas where they fire of ceremonial fireworks which really scared the boys (as seen of Lucas face).

The food in Thailand is delicious.

There are so many variations that we cannot get at home and they don't add all that sugar.





Lucas was a bit tired after a morning at the beach at this one.



On KC's birthday we went to an ocean front seafood place.







I don't think the family liked the food in Thailand much though, because they wanted to eat japanese and wanted air conditioned restaurants even though the evenings generally were a bit cooler.

Here are some various photos that I haven't posted earlier.



Here is one of a jumpshot with Kim and I in front of the big Buddha.


Down at the beach there was this artificial wave surfing centre.

The family did lots of shopping.

Kim's family had suits and shirts made and the girls bought lots of shoes.




We also found some great tshirts for the kids.







Although the kids were more interested in the ice cream.

It is fruit season at the moment so we bought lots of really delicious fruits such as Rambutans, mangosteens, mangoes, jack fruit etc.

The street life in Thailand is as it always have been with lots of food stalls and other shops.







Petrol for all the bikes is bought in these small shops as well.




You can even get your feet cleaned by fish.




And handicraft is created there as well (The large elephant piece took him 2 weeks to create).







A new addition is the popup cocktail bars.




It reminds me of the good old days of backpacking where nothing was arranged beforehand. I would just organise accommodation when I arrived to a new place. There is still plenty of accommodation options everywhere if you look for it.

Lucas version of a Miro painting

We took the older children to see Peter Pan - this was their christmas/birthday presents.

My dad was here earlier in the year visiting.

We have started to take the boys climbing occasionally. Especially Aiden enjoys it and is able to climb to the top without being afraid.

Lucas just had his 5th birthday.

It was celebrated at the local park with his friends and we had hired an entertainer to do some activities with them.

Some photos from Aiden 7th Birthday













His party was at the climbing gym. Unfortunately he was sick on that day, so didn't enjoy it as much as he could have.






One of his presents was a crystal growing dragon - here is before and after.

Some photos from Aiden 7th Birthday













His party was at the climbing gym. Unfortunately he was sick on that day, so didn't enjoy it as much as he could have.






One of his presents was a crystal growing dragon - here is before and after.

Chinese new year with the boys.

A couple of funny faces

Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

This weekend we took the kids for a walk with some friends from Maroubra to Lurline Bay.

It is a nice little pleasant walk that is easy for the kids.




They loved jumping between the boulders.




...and exploring the small rock pools.







Because of the recent storms the beach was full of Blue bottles, so no playing in the sand this time around.





They are nasty little creatures that will sting you badly if you touch them.




This surfer was being very careful in his bare feet.

Earlier this month it was Lucas birthday.

We didn't have a kids party for him, but we did celebrate with the family.







We gave him a new bike for his birthday...he was stunned and didn't know what to think of it, but he loves riding it now.

Last weekend there was a Lego exhibition in the city.

We caught the train in to St James station and walked from there.





It was a fairly small exhibition with my favourite being the pirate ship with all the details of the lower decks.












There was also some Ninjago and Star wars.










And a lot of other pieces.

Rather than keeping all the kids artwork I instead take photos of it.

Here is some of the latest additions.