21. June 2011 09:10
by Rene Pallesen

Mum passed away

21. June 2011 09:10 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

mum passed away

Week before last my mum passed away.

She had her birthday on the Saturday where we called her and sang har Happy Birthday. The next day I received an email from my auntie saying that my mum had another stroke on the day after her birthday and that she probably wouldn't make it through the night.

Obviously a bit of a shock and after calling the hospital they confirmed that she was in a coma and that it wasn't looking good. The stroke was on the opposite side of where she previously had a stroke so even if she woke up she would probably be totally paralysed.

Later that day I managed to get hold of my aunt and spoke to her to try and decide whether I should jump on a plane immediately or wherhet I should wait and see. I decided that because she was asleep there wouldn't be much value in me going there since it could be a long wait. My mums health has been pretty bad for a while so every time I've spoken to her I've know that it could be the last time. The one regret I have is that I only spoke to her briefly on her Birthday because we were going out for dinner.

On the 8th I reveived a call from my Aunt in the middle of the night saying that my mum had quietly slept in and that I better make my way to Denmark because there was a lot of decisions that had to be made.

The last photo of my Mum

When I arrived to Denmark my Dad hadn't arrived yet and his neighbour was out so I was unable to get into his apartment. I decided to go for a walk down to the hospital where my mum was and I was sitting outside for a while. Every time I saw someone in a window I was hoping that I would catch a glimse of my mum.

Next day my dad had arrived and we had a very busy day organising the funeral with the funeral company and starting to clear out her apartment. I had to make a decision as to what I wanted to keep and what should be disposed of. Over the next couple of days I managed to pack two boxes of stuff to keep and the rest was thrown out (apart from one box of porcelain painted by my grandma which I gave to my auntie). It was belongings that represented my Mums entire life and I had to make decisions as what to keep. In the end I only kept a few things that I would like to remember her by where the photos were an important part. I also kept a few of my grandmothers things that she had.

My mum had kept a lot of my things which I had to throw out as well. There were a number of really old bottles of wine from before I moved to Australia where the only one that was perfectly drinkable was a 1987 bottle (The rest had turned to vinegar). My dad and I shared this bottle over an outside BBQ one evening.

It is really sad to see how my Mums last few years has split up the family as well as old friends...when she had her first stroke years ago she was very much let down by both family members and friends that she thought she could depend on. A couple of these turned up to the funeral service...I am sure my mum would rather have had them not being there.

On the thursday we had my mums funeral at the church next to where she was born and I found it really hard to say my last goodbuy to her. It is one thing knowing she has passed away, but it really sunk in when she was right there in her coffin.

It was difficult for me to take these photos, but I needed something to remember the funeral by.

After the funeral we had lunch at Marielyst. It was good to catch up with some of my family members especially my mums sisters and my cousins and I am grateful for all the flowers that were sent.

In the middle of the lunch my dads sister came and threw a spanner in the wheels. She has days before promised that she would take care of the legal side and in the middle of the lunch she declared that she didn't want to do it afterall. I find her timing absolutely appaling and dissapointing. She could have let me know of that decisions earlier...instead I had to rush around and organise a lawyer in the afternoon where I thoughs I could finally site back and reflect on the loss of my mum and pack my things to finally go home next morning.

Anyway it got all sorted and next day I returned back to Australia.

I am really sorry that my mum never got to meet Aiden and I am sorry that Aiden never got to meet his grandmother. She passed away day after Aidens 1yo birthday and we were planning togo to Denmark next month to finally introduce them to eachother.

I hope that if there is something after that she has finally found some peace and that she is with my brother and that both of them are young, happy and healthy. The years since my brother passed away were really tough on my mum...she has had a tough autumn and her wish was always to be buried next to him in Vaeggerloese.

We will all miss her very much...

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