Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

Here are some more photos from my childhood in no particular order.

The first ones from a New Years eve where we got a bit silly with the hats. These were taken at a New Years even in Kenya and before my brother got really sick, so probably around 1989/90.



And here is Claus.



And my mum.




I was really good at shooting when I was a kid and won lots of championships. This photo is one of the few things I have from that time.


This is Claus and I with our dog.



Not sure which ones of these is Claus and which is me.




















This was taken just christmas day in the back yard of my grandma's (Mormor) house. We got the skis as a christmas present. All the fields behind her house belonged to my mothers brother Flemming.



I think this may be my brother. For the first time I've noticed the photo in the background. It looks like this may be a photo of my mum with her two sisters and brother and what could be her dad Raimer in the middle.















This would most likely be the new years eve where we were trapped by the snow 1978/79. We were supposed to have celebrated with the family but couldn't even get out of the house. Delicious with a glass of milk and a pie.






We didn't have a lawn in the back yard. Instead we had pebbles...lots of fun shoveling them.







This I think is a christmas eve dinner at my grandmas (mormor) place. My mum on the left and my uncle Flemming in the middle. Not sure who the person standing up in. It could be my grandmas brother. Possibly from around 1976/77


I think it is my great grandpa (Raimer) in the middle row number two from the left. The title of the photo says that it is Christoffer (??) in the top left corner. Looking at the age of the boys this would have been taken in the 1920's.


Claus dancing aeound the christmas tree and my mum and grandma (Bedstemor/Farmor).


From left to Right. My grandma (On my dads side/Bedstemor/farmor), Knud Aage (My uncle/dads brother), My mum (in the foreground), My grandad (in the background), Irene (my auntie/dads sister), Grete and I assume the baby is Vinnie which means that it is likely that my mum was pregnant with Claus (born in July).






















This was taken at my grandparents place and after my brother got sick. He was really suffering at this point.






This is one of the happiest family photos I have and the only one I have a print of.



Going for a walk at Marielyst with Lott and Willy some of our german friends. Claus in the foreground and my dad on the right. I think you can just spot me in yellow pants in the background.



I think this is at Lotte and Willy's summer house.






Not sure if this is Claus or myself being babtised. It is my grand mother being god mother.











This was taken outside our summer house in Marielyst.



My brother number 2 from the top right on his school photo.



Claus at daycare number 4 from the top left.



Me at day care top left.

Here is some more old photos of my mum. This time with here brother and sisters.

This first one if probably one of the oldest. You can tell that the photo was shot in black and white and that the negative was later coloured (badly). It would be my mum in the middle with her two sisters Eli (the oldest on the right) and Yrsa.




This is my mum in the middle with what I assume is cousins.





I think it is my grandmother (Karen) holding my mum.


Here is the same as the first photo, but this time without the colour.



My mum and her sisters playing in the courtyard of their farm


My mum with her older sisters.


Eli, Yrsa, Sonja and Flemming Kragh.


Having her photo taken as a little girl.


Upset about having her photo taken?
























My mum with her younger brother Flemming.


As a liitle girl


My mum in school.





From left to right...Eli, Yrsa my mum (Sonja) and Flemming.


As a young girls/woman...possibly from her Konfirmation.



My mum as a girl scout (no 4 from the left).


It is Flemming in the middle and my mum on the right.

When I was a kid we would every summer travel to Southern Europe with our caravan.

Usually travelling through Swizerland or Austria ending up in Italy (Either Lido di Jesolo or the Italian Riviera). Underway we would visit old friends of my mum and dad from the time they were working in Italy.

Here are some photos from that time.









I just noticed the burn scar on my arm on the above photo. I think this is one of the few childhood photos where you can really see it.




















This was out caravan while travelling.








This is our caravan with the tent up in the middle.

This weekend we took the kids for a walk with some friends from Maroubra to Lurline Bay.

It is a nice little pleasant walk that is easy for the kids.




They loved jumping between the boulders.




...and exploring the small rock pools.







Because of the recent storms the beach was full of Blue bottles, so no playing in the sand this time around.





They are nasty little creatures that will sting you badly if you touch them.




This surfer was being very careful in his bare feet.

Earlier this month it was Lucas birthday.

We didn't have a kids party for him, but we did celebrate with the family.







We gave him a new bike for his birthday...he was stunned and didn't know what to think of it, but he loves riding it now.

Last weekend there was a Lego exhibition in the city.

We caught the train in to St James station and walked from there.





It was a fairly small exhibition with my favourite being the pirate ship with all the details of the lower decks.












There was also some Ninjago and Star wars.










And a lot of other pieces.

Rather than keeping all the kids artwork I instead take photos of it.

Here is some of the latest additions.

The other day Aiden figured out how to pedal his big bike (with support wheels).

He was very proud and keen to get out riding.

The other day we went to the park to play with the kids.

I brought the camera along to take a few shots of Lucas on the swing.

He was so tired that he almost fell asleep on the swing.









I also managed to get a couple of great photos of Aiden.

The other day Aiden came back from daycare with face paint around his eyes proudly saying that he was a super hero.

Last year I received a gift voucher through work and decided to use it for a canyoning trip in the blue mountains before it expired.



one of the companies were doing intermediate canyons and it happens that the canyon they were doing this Sunday was the serendipity canyon at mount Wilson. We (two guides and 6 other clients) parked at mount Wilson fire station and headed down the trail 30 minutes downhill.

After a quick briefing about the canyon and a change to wetsuits we absailed into the canyon itself.




There were lots of yabbies...really big ones everywhere.



It was a fun canyon with a couple of a absails and lots of jumps into water pools and swim-throughs. It was raining a lot the day before so there was a lot of water in the canyon and the water was relatively warm.














Once we were out of the canyon we had some lunch and headed back to the car a 45 minute uphill walk later. We returned back to Katoomba at around 3pm in thick fog. After a quick turnaround I headed back towards sydney as a snail pace until I was below the clouds where visibility improved. I made it back just in time for having dinner with the family.

A lot of the canyons in the mountains are still closed due to the bushfire a couple of months ago.

For the past 9 days is has been a small project of mine to try and bake an authentic sourdough bread.

By sourdough I mean by using the old techniques of not adding yeast and let the bread ferment using the natural yeast from the air.

As such it is not a lot of work, but there is a lot of waiting time and there are a lot of places that things can go wrong.

I finally managed to bake an actual bread last night and brought it for the family to taste.



They liked it and asked if I could bake them some more. Fortunately I still had some ferment left over for an additional two breads...photo above is one of them.

Although it was interesting to do, I think it will take a while before I attempt it again...the whole process is just too long.

Emma was baptised this weekend at the local church. Fastest ever...the priest was speed reading!

The other day it was Chinese new year. It is now the year of the horse.



Again it was celebrated with vegan food and money was put on Aidens rocking horse for good luck.

Aiden has finally learned how to ride his little tricycle (the one his grandma gave him just before she passed away) by using the pedals.

He is very proud...hopefully he is able to soon using his new skills on the bike he got for christmas.



Even Lucas was proud and gave Aiden the victory jump.

At the moment I am going through a phase where I Loooveee baking bread.

There is something really satisfying about working with something that is so diverse and alive. And there is nothing like eating a freshly baked bread with a nice crust.


So far I have found a couple of recipes I really like...one of them is this walnut and fig bread.



On the weekend I made it for the family dinner and they wanted the recipe.

- 400g white flour into a bowl
- Add 100g of wholemeal flour
- Add 10g of sea salt flakes
- Add 5g of dry yeast into the bowl
- Add 335ml of water
- Mix it all together using your hand
- Kneed it by stretching it out on a table and then roll it up...do this 3-6 times
- flatten the bread to a thickness of about 15mm and then place walnuts and chopped figs on top. Roll up the bread with the walnuts and figs inside.
- Stretch the bread another couple of time and roll it up until the walnuts and figs are mixed into the bread.
- Put the bread in a bowl and cover it with glad wrap (or better yet, just leave it on the table and cover it with the bowl) for one hour...knock back the bread every 20 minutes (3 times in total).
- Leave the bread for another one hour (without knocking it back). After 30 minutes (30 minutes prior to baking) start preheating the oven with a baking/pizza stone at 250 degrees. Also put a small metal tray in the oven (for the ice cubes)
- Add a bit of semolina (or flour) to the baking stone and to the top of the bread to avoid it sticking.
- Place the bread on the baking stone and make a couple of cuts to the top of the dough.
- Add 3-4 ice cubes to the metal tray
- Close the oven and turn down the temperature to 200 degrees immediately.
- Bake for 30 minutes and remove from the oven.

Every year hunter valley garden put up a light show where they decorate part of the garden in christmas lights.

They leave this open until end of January, so this year we headed up there to have a look....enjoy.

A couple of the awards received by Aiden and Lucas

My mum and dad spent some time in Sydney over christmas and New Year.

While they were here I raught my dad how to absail.



And for Christmas I gave my parents some tickets for the Sydney Harbour bridge walk (they gave Arumi a ticket too).

My brother passed away in the end of 2002. He had been suffering badly from his disease for almost a decade and eventually it got the better of him.

I still miss him a lot even though we weren't close when he was alive....but I still feel him close to me to this day!



I still light a candle for him once in a while.



His two biggest wishes in life was to become a professional tennis player...he was a pretty damn good player and I never played against him because I didn't have a chance.



His second biggest wish was to get himself a girlfriend. This is one of the last photos that was taken of him.



I still blame the psychiatric system in Denmark for what happened. They were too focused on treating his disease with medication and never paid any attention on teaching him to live with his disease and provide quality in life.


I still love him very much and I really miss him. I also regret that I wasn't there more for him.



He always looked after me and he has never hurt anyone.





This is the last family photo that was taken.



I would appreciate if you click here to see some of the photos from my brothers life: May he not be forgotten

Before Claus became ill, he was a rising star in the world of tennis. He was featured in the local newspaper as Amtsmester - he came first in the local "Amst" - level similar to state-level.

Claus loved being out in the wind and the sun. He was also prone to seasickness.

Claus and my family came to visit me in Australia in 1999. I think he liked it here - warmer winters and friendly people. I really like the top middle photo, of Claus eating oysters. He looked very happy. They did a lot of sightseeing here, and even visited my apartment on Narrabeen beach.

The following are the last photos that were taken of Claus, on one of our sailing trips.

My brother had schizophrenia, and he passed away not long after his 33rd birthday.

I love my brother, and I regret not telling him this. My girlfriend tells me that Claus knew I loved him.
I am not convinced of this, so I wrote him a letter, in the hope that he will read this, wherever he is.

There is so much I wanted to say to him.

I want to remember him when he was not sick, when he was happy, and when I was last in Denmark in June 2002. I want to remember him, as you will see him in these photos.

My Big Brother . . .








Created: 8 Oct 2002 Last Updated: 24 Oct 2002

On the way back from Denmark we made a stopover in Singapore to have a look as well as do some shopping.

Here a photo from Little India in Singapore.

We surprised my Mum by turning up in Denmark before her 60th Birthday.

She had a big party where a lot of her friends and family turned up.



While we were there we also got to visit some of my friends and family as well as do a bit of Sightseeing in Copenhagen and Legoland. Click here to see more photos from: Mums 60th Birthday/Slideshow

Over the Christmas holidays we went for a drive through some of the most scenic parts of Australia.

First we drive down to Melbourne and then along the Great Ocean Road to Adelaide.



The sunsets were spectacular.



We then continued up to the Flinders Ranges and along the way had a look at cave paintings.



In Broken hill we went down into the old Daydream silvermine.



We also had a look at some of the Desert Sculptures



Along the way we saw some Australian Wildlife. Here a wombat.



And here a possum.



Lots of Koalas



And here one very angry Lizard.



And of course some Emus.



We were camping along the way.



Click here to see more photos from Driving in Australia / Slideshow