Between Christmas and New year we went to the Hunter Valley with Sasha and his family.

We stayed overnight in a cabin in Lovedale.




During the day we tasted wines at the various wineries (found some good ones).






















The kids also loved playing at the cabin in the evenings.

This year we decided not to celebrate on the eve of the 24 and just stick with the 25th at KC's place (too much cooking otherwise). I was responsible for the Christmas ham (with limited success).

It was a relaxing day and the kids were very exited about their presents.

Sometimes when I am setting up for a photo especially Aiden likes to jump in a get silly.

It is a good way to test the lighting and sometimes I managed to get a 'keeper' such as this one from a few weeks back.

It is almost Christmas and I've just completed our annual family Christmas photo and this is the final version.



It was an interesting process getting to this photo this year. Last year we did a photo in the kitchen of us baking a cake, but this years photo has so many more elements to it.

The idea came from a combination of Kim and my ideas. Kim wanted to do a photo of the boys through a crystal ball. I actually bought the crystal ball right after Christmas last year with this year in mind.

We did a test in front of the tree in early December which was reasonably okay, but Kim didn't like the feel to it. She wanted more snow (pretty ambitious on a summers day here in Sydney Australia).



My idea for our family photo was based on me wanting to do a story of us as a family out in a snow storm 'Looking for Santa'. I had purchased a bag of artificial snow and a Christmas cape a few months back and we had some lanterns downstairs so I pretty much had all the components in place for the shoot.

I knew I had to do it as a composite with the boys as there was no way that I would be able to get the photo with all four of us at once. We did the photo over a couple of days, on the first evening (after the kids had gone to bed) I took the one of Kim and myself holding the lantern. Once I had this photo I could show it to Aiden and Lucas so that they knew what we needed them to do (Lucas just had to copy Aiden).



I had Gaffa taped markers on the floor so everyone would know where they were supposed to stand. Inside the lantern I had hidden a speedlight gelled with CTO to make it look light the lantern was lit. We are actually lit by a large Einstein strobe also with CTO, grid and barn doors to control the spill of the light.
At the back left and right were another two speedlights providing a bit of rim light to emulate moon light.

Because of the first 'failed' attempt of the crystal ball I got the idea to extend my 'Looking for Santa' photo into Santa's shed where he would have a crystal ball where he could look at us looking for him.
This would require three components - The crystal ball, the lights from the Christmas tree to create atmosphere and then Santa himself. I created Santa by hanging a hat on a chair which was easy to light and then I had another light which I used to balance the ambient with the lights from the tree.

The final photo all combined looks like the following, but in the end we decided to just use the tighter crop in the first and final photo.

It was time again for the annual Christmas concert with Aiden and Lucas' daycare.

Aiden is starting 'big' school after Christmas, so this was also his graduation.



Kim and Aiden had both practiced some dancing and songs for the concert and were both dressed up, Aiden as a doctor and Lucas as a pumpkin.





Although Aiden was very excited leading up to the concert and was telling everyone how he was going to sing and dance, he absolutely broke down once we got there overwhelmed by all the people and the noise.

It was heartbreaking to see him like that on an evening where he should be enjoying himself. He was crying and didn't want to get on the stage. Eventually we managed to get him up and he did try and participate.





Lucas on the other hand had a great time, unfortunately I didn't get a lot of photos of that because I had to try and comfort Aiden.





After the show Santa turned up wit presents for the kids and he was a lot happier again.







After that the graduates had their photos taken and had cake.

This month Kim and I had our anniversary.

I cant believe we have been married for 7 years...still love her to bits.

Saturday Kim and I went to the Sydney Opera house to watch the Sleeping Beauty performed by the Australian Ballet.



It was one of the better ballets we have seen. The story was great and the dancing (lots of it) was of a really high quality.

The even managed to weave in some of the Red riding hood story, Puss in boots, Cinderella and other stories.

It was beautiful to watch.

Last night Kim and I went to the show Velvet at the Sydney Opera House.

It was a combination of circus, burlesque and boogie nights (70's music) in one show.




The show had great music with Marcia Hines and Brendan Maclean and the performers were great. I think everyones favourite was the guy with the hula hoops.

I don't know for sure which ones are Claus and which ones are Rene.

This post is mostly about Claus when he was at his top as one of Denmarks top tennis players.

I have kept scans of all the newspaper clippings from when he was winning a lot of tournaments.





























































In the mid 90's he started to get pretty sick and although he still tried to play tennis it was never at the same level again. Eventually he more or less gave up. His illness took to great a hold of him. These are some of the 'darkest' photos I have of him while he was struggling with his schizophrenia and were taken shortly before I moved to Australia.





He lost contact with most of his friends and was very dependent on my mum and dad as well as other support programs in place.







I prefer to remember him as he was before he passed away.


















This poem reminds me of him.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

A couple of times now we have caught Lucas in the process of cleaning the toilet using the toilet brush. We really have to watch him, because he is quick and within a few seconds he will be in there up to his mischief if we don't watch out.

Aiden recently ended up in hospital again...this time really bad.

He had another seizure similar to the last time, but this time a lot worse and he didn't wake up from it.

At the hospital they couldn't get him to respond either and he started having neurological damage symptoms.

They decided to put him to sleep on a breathing aparatus and go through the whole process of CT scans, Xrays, spinal fluid examinations etc.



Kim and I were really scared and I stayed with him for 4 days in the hospital until he eventually recovered enough to go home.






The doctors were unable to find out why he seizure was so violent so now we are really worried that he may get another one.

Recently it was fathers day...the kids surprised me in the morning giving me a new coffee mug.

Sometimes we take the kids to Little dynamo to play. It is this 4 level play centre for the kids.

Last weekend Aiden and I went to Sammi's 4th B'day.

It was held up at Mona Vale and involved a small bush walk for the kids.



Some of the way Aiden and Sammi were holding hands.



Afterwards we had cake and played with clay.







And after the party Aiden and I went for another little walk and spotted a hug red belly black snake.

We are in the process of potty training Aiden...so far ain't working.

He is reasonably happy to sit on the toilet in front of the TV...but so far he is holding it in.

Some time ago we had a TEDx session at work...it was great to be part of an international phenomena.




I hope they will run more sessions in the future and that they will be able to get some really interesting speakers in the room.

Aiden is a bit of a worry...although he is a social kid he is quite scared of a lot of things and requires a lot of help doing things.

Because he has been delayed on a lot of fronts including his comprehension he would like to play with the other kids but doesn't understand the games they are playing.

This means that he in a lot of cases finds comfort just playing by himself rather than with the other kids.





It does mean that whenever they have group games then he will require someone who can give him step by step instructions until he understands the game.



Mind you when he does find someone who is interested in playing the games he does understand then it is great to see.

Last week we made the trip to Fiji with the kids.

Kim is just about to finish her maternity leave and my work asked me to reduce my accumulated annual leave days by taking some time off so we decided to go away for a week.

We stayed at the Hilton close to Nadi (we found it too far to travel with the kids to the coral coast). This is the view from our room.




Aiden and Lucas had lots of fun playing on the balcony (Lucas enjoyed throwing toys off the balcony).



And we did spend some time in the sand as well.





And trying to teach Lucas to walk (he can almost stand by himself now).



But all the swimming was done in the swimming pool at the hotel.



We didn't venture out much, but on most of the evenings we would walk over to the local Marina to eat (the food was better and cheaper).



One day we hired a nanny to look after Lucas (with little success as they were unable to feed him and settle him, so we still had to be there).

The other day I went for a walk in Centenial Park. For the first time I ventured into the memorial (normally there are lots of dogs and poo in this area so I generally avoid it).

The ceiling of the memorial is quite pretty and I can see myself coming back to do some more photos at some stage.

This week we travelled to Denmark to meet the relatives. We flew straight from Sydney to Copenhagen with short stopovers in Singapore and London. Aiden behaved like a little angel pretty much all the way although he was pretty tired on the last stretch from London.

The purpose of our trip was initially to introduce Aiden to both his Grandmother and Granddad (Bedstefar), but since my mum passed away last month he could only meet my dad.



It took a couple of days for both granddad (Bedstefar) and Aiden to get used to each other, but now they really enjoy each others company and have fun playing with eachother (although it will take some time before we get him to babysit as he refuses to change nappies).





We also went to the cemetry to visit my mum who passed away recently and my brother. It is a pity my Mum didn't get to meet Aiden, but at least he has now been to the cemetry.



We also went to visit my grand parents (Aidens great grandparents) as well as my great grand parents and great great grandparents (5 generations in one place).








One afternoon we went to my Aunties house to visit.



On a couple of evenings we had an outdoor BBQ. My dad was looking after the meat and we were looking after the side dishes and deserts. On the first evening my dad managed to burn the chicken a faid bit.



One afternoon we all went to the local zoo (It must have been 30 years since I last went there).







We tried the swings there, but Aiden wasn't happy with them (Maybe when he is older).



In the evenings we went down memory lane where my dad pulled out old 16mm film from when I was a toddler.





We were in Denmark a week and a half and it was really nice to see Aiden and my Dad getting along. I am hoping that my dad will come to Sydney in the near future and spend more time with Aiden...it will be good for him to know Bedstefar as he is growing up.

Today was a beautiful winters day...cool, windy and blue skies and we decided to use this beautiful Sunday to go on a bushwalk with Aiden (his first real bushwalk).

The walk we decided to do was one up at Cowan from the station down to Jerusalem Bay (5km return). I carried Aiden all the way in a small sling/backpac we have for him.



He is still not used to the sling and keeps leaning back...but hopefully we can get him a bit more used to it before our holiday to Croatia.

The walk follows a creek with a small stream running through it. Eventually it reaches the bay which is a picturesque little place.



It was a great trip and it was great to get out and get some exercise.



Afterwards we had lunch at Berowra at a place I had been to before. Unfortunately it had changed owners and didn't have the same quality to it any longer.

We had a beautiful winter day yesterday and we decided to head down to the beach to get Aiden used to the feel of sand.



He took it a lot better than expected and although wasn't playing with the sand at least he tolerated his feet and hands touching it.



He was also quite content sucking his fingers being full of sand.

This week it was Kims Birthday (one of the big ones with a zero in it). In the morning she was surprised with a big bunch of flowers delivered and she thought they were from me...she was very surprised when she discovered they were from my dad.



...and I got an earful because she thought that I hadn't gotten her any...well I did and they were delivered by the end of the afternoon and they were different from the ones I ordered (they just delivered a palin bunch of roses which was very dissappointing but the florist gave me a refund when I complained about it).




In the evening we had Kims dad baby sitting while we went to Sepia for the degustation menu.




The food was really yummi and time just flew away.





On the Sunday we celebrated with the family on a japanese restaurant followed by cake and birthday song.



Happy Birthday Kim!!

Week before last my mum passed away.

She had her birthday on the Saturday where we called her and sang har Happy Birthday. The next day I received an email from my auntie saying that my mum had another stroke on the day after her birthday and that she probably wouldn't make it through the night.

Obviously a bit of a shock and after calling the hospital they confirmed that she was in a coma and that it wasn't looking good. The stroke was on the opposite side of where she previously had a stroke so even if she woke up she would probably be totally paralysed.

Later that day I managed to get hold of my aunt and spoke to her to try and decide whether I should jump on a plane immediately or wherhet I should wait and see. I decided that because she was asleep there wouldn't be much value in me going there since it could be a long wait. My mums health has been pretty bad for a while so every time I've spoken to her I've know that it could be the last time. The one regret I have is that I only spoke to her briefly on her Birthday because we were going out for dinner.

On the 8th I reveived a call from my Aunt in the middle of the night saying that my mum had quietly slept in and that I better make my way to Denmark because there was a lot of decisions that had to be made.



When I arrived to Denmark my Dad hadn't arrived yet and his neighbour was out so I was unable to get into his apartment. I decided to go for a walk down to the hospital where my mum was and I was sitting outside for a while. Every time I saw someone in a window I was hoping that I would catch a glimse of my mum.

Next day my dad had arrived and we had a very busy day organising the funeral with the funeral company and starting to clear out her apartment. I had to make a decision as to what I wanted to keep and what should be disposed of. Over the next couple of days I managed to pack two boxes of stuff to keep and the rest was thrown out (apart from one box of porcelain painted by my grandma which I gave to my auntie). It was belongings that represented my Mums entire life and I had to make decisions as what to keep. In the end I only kept a few things that I would like to remember her by where the photos were an important part. I also kept a few of my grandmothers things that she had.

My mum had kept a lot of my things which I had to throw out as well. There were a number of really old bottles of wine from before I moved to Australia where the only one that was perfectly drinkable was a 1987 bottle (The rest had turned to vinegar). My dad and I shared this bottle over an outside BBQ one evening.



It is really sad to see how my Mums last few years has split up the family as well as old friends...when she had her first stroke years ago she was very much let down by both family members and friends that she thought she could depend on. A couple of these turned up to the funeral service...I am sure my mum would rather have had them not being there.


On the thursday we had my mums funeral at the church next to where she was born and I found it really hard to say my last goodbuy to her. It is one thing knowing she has passed away, but it really sunk in when she was right there in her coffin.



It was difficult for me to take these photos, but I needed something to remember the funeral by.



After the funeral we had lunch at Marielyst. It was good to catch up with some of my family members especially my mums sisters and my cousins and I am grateful for all the flowers that were sent.



In the middle of the lunch my dads sister came and threw a spanner in the wheels. She has days before promised that she would take care of the legal side and in the middle of the lunch she declared that she didn't want to do it afterall. I find her timing absolutely appaling and dissapointing. She could have let me know of that decisions earlier...instead I had to rush around and organise a lawyer in the afternoon where I thoughs I could finally site back and reflect on the loss of my mum and pack my things to finally go home next morning.

Anyway it got all sorted and next day I returned back to Australia.

I am really sorry that my mum never got to meet Aiden and I am sorry that Aiden never got to meet his grandmother. She passed away day after Aidens 1yo birthday and we were planning togo to Denmark next month to finally introduce them to eachother.


I hope that if there is something after that she has finally found some peace and that she is with my brother and that both of them are young, happy and healthy. The years since my brother passed away were really tough on my mum...she has had a tough autumn and her wish was always to be buried next to him in Vaeggerloese.

We will all miss her very much...

Today it was Aidens 1st Birthday and we celebrated it quietly with a birthday song and a little cupcake with a candle in it.



He is now a lot more curious about his environment and crawls around the livingroom investigating every corner. He is still commando crawling, but when he is determined to get to something then he is pretty quick.


We also measured him up against a wall and he is now 74cm tall and weighs just over 10kg. He is starting to become a real handful. He is used to me taking him with me in the shower and really doesn't like being bathed in a bathtub any more and it now takes the two of us to dress him (one of us to hold him while the other person dresses him). He is getting so strong that it is hard to one person to hold him is he starts wiggling like a worm.

On Sunday is his big birthday party and I really hope that I will be able to be there and celebrate it with him. Aiden's Grandmother (my Mum) had another stroke on Sunday (the day after her 69th Birthday) and things don't look very good at the moment and I may suddenly have to rush back to Denmark. I really hope she will hold out as I don't want to miss my little boys first Birthday party.

I am really sad that my Mum and Aiden hasn't had a chance to meet. We are supposed to go back there in August to visit her...but now we will have to re-evaluate our plans.

Again this year I went into the city to have a look at Vivid Sydney. This is a festival of light and music in the city around Circular Quay, The Rocks and the Opera House.

On the first few days of the festival it was raining a bit, but one evening when there was a clear night I went into the city leaving Kim and Aiden at home.

I managed to get a couple of good photos I think although I spent way too much time on photos of the opera house and therefore ran out of time.








This was the third year of the festival and I found this years festival much more creative than the previous years.


Anyway, here are some of the more interesting photos from the evening.

This weekend we made another trip to Centennial Park to go for a walk, have lunch & coffee and take some photos. Is it becoming a regular event so expect some more post in the future.

This Sunday the park was car free, meaning that everyone had to park outside the gates rather then drive into the park. It meant that there was a lot less people in the park which made it even more enjoyable. The trees as beautiful with their golden yellow and red leaves.


It is currently Autumn in Sydney and lately the weather had been fairly miserable and even this Sunday when we went to the park it looked a bit dark and gloomy at first. Fortunately the grass and leaves were fairly dry so I could do our 11 Month photos of Aiden. At first he didn't like the leaves at all, but after a few minutes he warmed up to the idea and started having fun playing with them (and eating them).








He is very funny at the moment, he is starting to crawl a lot faster and would try and get to the camera so I had to keep crawling backwards to keep the distance between us.

Friday night Kim, Dylan and I joined a number of Kims friends on the Abba cruise on the Sydney Harbour.

Dylan had completed a writing assignment we gave him a couple of weeks earlier (to write a 500 word essay about our easter holiday) and as a reward we took him along on the cruise.

The boat was a fairly small boat (almost house boat sized) and probably fitted around 80 people onboard. The Abba band was pretty good. The singing wasn't brilliant, but still very good entertainment and they managed to get the boat rocking. We even managed to get Dylan up dancing (even though we didn't give him much choice).




^{(oh...this photo is intentionally blurred...I tried to create a cool effect by zooming while I took the photo with a rear-curtain sync).}


It was a beautiful calm night, so it was nice to once in a while go up on deck to enjoy the view of the city line. Vivid Sydney had just started so Circular Quay, The opera house and The Rocks was all lit up. I will be heading in there one of the next few nights to take some more photos (I tried to take a couple of photos from the boat but Abba was rocking it too much ;-) ).



I hope Nikon will soon announce the D800...my old D50 was really strugling this evening with the low light conditions and I didn't bring a Tripod along.